Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts

Monday, June 1, 2015

to love at all


I think about this quote a lot.  I've actually written about it before.  My friend Jack says, "There is no safe investment.  To love at all is to be vulnerable."  Think about that for a second.  A few years back, I wrote about this quote in the context of marriage and the relationship between two broken people who have bound themselves to one another, and what a scary thought that is.  I called it marriage is risky

This past week, it has struck me in a new way.  CS Lewis's sayings tend to do that to me, I think.  Not only because he was a genius, but because he was gifted with the ability to take the wisdom found in scripture and rework, repackage it in a strikingly poignant way.  And, like the wisdom found in scripture, his speculations find application in so many stages of life and circumstances. 

So, as I found his To Love Is to Be Vulnerable teaching to be relevant in reflecting on marriage, I now find it to have much to say about parenthood.  It may have even much more to say about parenthood.

Here's a bit more of the quote, so we're all on the same page:

There is no safe investment.
To love at all is to be vulnerable.
Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, 
you must give your heart to no one,
not even to an animal.

Okay.  So.  Surely you can see where my thoughts went with marriage.  Romantic relationships are hard enough when people are in the dating stage... Can you see how the fear could escalate when you've pledged your whole self to another person for the rest of your life?  To be loved is to be known, I conclude in my earlier post.  What a risky thing to fully put yourself out there, with all your quirks, secrets, imperfections, insecurities... and say, "Please know and accept and love me - all of me."

Imagine, then, how this could affect parenthood, the other most important relationship a person can have with another in this life.  While I personally fear less of my daughter 'accepting' me and loving me despite my faults (though I am fully aware of future fears with this, when she's more 18 than 18 months old), the riskiness of love only increases when a child comes into the picture.  

I love Daphne with all of my being.  It's actually useless for me to compare the way I love Daphne to the way I love Kevin, because it's apples and oranges.  Kevin and I have chosen each other.  Daphne has been given to us, and she is us.  The fruit, the blessing of our togetherness.  So, I love her with the love only a mother can have.  It is fierce.  It is fiery.  I will love and I will protect my baby girl, because she is equal parts me, and equal parts Kevin, and yet completely her own unique and dynamic little person.  

And even this is not a "safe investment", though all the forces of nature and God himself conspired to place her in our lives.  She is no less risky to love than a significant other.  Perhaps, she is more so.  A child, though a gift from God, demands your heart and your protection and so much responsibility.  Yet, a child's life cannot be controlled, from her circumstance to her very will.  

This terrifies me more than anything, when I wake up nights with this new baby squirming and kicking inside me.  Right now, my body is all the protection little Charles Ender needs.  I can fully control his environment, because it's me.  I know where he is, what he's doing, and can protect him in a way that I no longer can with Daphne.  Daphne is out in the world.  I cannot protect her from every bump and bruise she will inevitably receive from experiencing that world.  

I fear I am not strong enough to give her back to God, to surrender control of her life to him, to see her as first a child of God and second a child of mine.  I feel conspicuously vulnerable as a mother.  I am utterly invested in this little life.  My whole heart is on the line here.  I fear I cannot protect my heart in regards to her no more than I can protect her against the world.  Anything, it seems, could happen.  This is not a safe place to be, parenthood.  It is profoundly risky.  It is risky to consider God as capable and trustworthy and faithful, not for my own life or relationship with Kevin, I'm finding... but for my children.  Do I trust him with these little lives?  

Making myself vulnerable before him, completely offering up my all in surrender, with the knowledge that that must include my babies, is his hardest lesson yet.  

Thursday, July 5, 2012

stuff my kids said [7.2-7.3]

Just take a look at this awesome schedule I had for two days of subbing!


Exclamations:
I chipped my finger!
One name is grape, and one name is pock! 
His name is Captain America!  I'm serious! 
Hair accessories:
Look - my headband can easily blend into your shirt, Miss Anna!
This clip is special because I found it at a park.  I mean... who wouldn't want a clip?? 
Fourth of July!
Happy Birthday, America!  ...Can America eat a cake?  (Response from another kid: YOU can eat a cake for America!)
On pets:
I don't have a cat... I have a brother.
Advice:
Stay away from those kinds of trees... there could be some fire drops left. 
Coloring:
One girl: Suns do not have eyes! Another girl: Well... I can do half eyes! 
No-nos:
One kid, during lunch: You have a coconut on your peepee!  Me: Oh, we don't say that... Another kid: Yeah, because coconut is a bad word!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

stuff my kids said [3/29]


Playing outside:
I can do a hopsketch.
Birthdays:
My birthday is on 7.  (Oh that's cool - what month?) I don't know.  On my 7 birthday, I will be 4.
Coloring:
This is kind of pig color.
(One kid:) Oh, pretty!  How did you do that?  (Other kid:) Imaginations.  Just... imaginations.
Name-calling:
I call YOU an instrument!  So, I'll throw you in the instrument trash.
"Reading" a book:
Owls singed along with baby secrets... run says Bambi-lash... run, run!  A mouse!  Run for dearest minals!  NOW we're safe in the barn!
Original songs:
Three little bunnies swinging on a tree...
Concerning animals:
Do daddy dinosaurs have moustaches?
I'm going to be a dog when I grow up!  

Sunday, March 25, 2012

stuff my kids said [3/23]

This edition is dedicated to one of my favorite five-year-olds.
Wednesday was his last day, and no one told me, so I didn't get to say goodbye!  :(

Anatomy:
Guess what I love to make you strong?  MUSCLES.  I love muscles.
Pronunciation:
My bike goes berry sast! ("Very fast!")
No I amn't!  (A contraction of "am not" -- I think she's onto something, personally.)
...Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, twenty... 3D! 
Coloring:
Holy cow you're good.   It takes practice, hon. Yeah, you start like a baby, just scribbling.  And then you get gooder and gooder and gooder and gooder and then you get good like Miss Anna!
My triangle looks like a little Santa hat. 
That yellow's a little dirty.  Well.  That's just the way God made it, I guess. 
Epiphanies:
Hey!  Excuse me!  I spelled my whole name!
You're not a teacher, you're a girl kid!
Definitions:
'Serious' means she doesn't really know me, or something.
Do you know what 'extinct' means?  It means all your skin rolls off and it's just bones.  You can't touch extinct animals - they're scratchy claws.
Reality:
Anyway, I like popcorn.  EVERYONE likes popcorn.  Besides, who doesn't like popcorn?
Who is it? A dad with really big nose hairs (said by another kid).  Is it my mom?
I have a bunch of rocks for my mom and they're shiny.   
I get tired of running and running and running... ME: You can sit down and rest for a bit!  Ok, thanks! 
I'll tell you how tall T-Rexes are with my hand.  THIS tall. 
I'm so hungry that I want to eat the trees. 
My birthday is far away, in California. 
That's smaller than a baby?  YUCK!  Babies are disgusting! 
Geography, a conversation:
I live in the mountains! I live in Africa!  Well... I mean, Greyfox Drive.  It means a grey fox.  They are so cute. 
 Putting shoes on the right feet:
If I was a big girl, and I had them on, I'd have them on wrong!
Compliments:
Are those your sunglasses, Miss Anna?  I like the design.  The frames look like they're from a volcano. 

Sunday, March 18, 2012

stuff my kids said [3/16]

Some of these are ones I just stumbled upon in my notebook (not a moleskine, for those who care) from December.  Still good.  These don't expire.  :)  But unfortunately, my memory for context does... so I am just going to list these ones.

We don't do these kinds of craps.
Tim Tebow is the awesome guy.  Also, I cheer for Tim Tebow... and play with him.
Two Tebow!  Tebowhead!
Miss Anna, you need lipstick on when you have chapstick.  You need lipstick.  You do, you do.
Do you know what girls call chapstick?  Lipstick.
I need to tell you something very important about it.  He lives on a cloud.
And if you don't have a teacher, you don't know what to do!  And don't know how to play with anybody!
One time, my gramma ate a whole bunny and she got sick.  A whole Easter bunny!  
Birds can be brown or purple.
Floose!  It means to blow.  Floose your hair... floose your nose!  
Do you want to hear a soft song?  ...The cat licks the girl... And there's an angel song. But you have to dance.
Guess what happened the first time I had a sandwich!
If you lick your face, it'll make your face even more red!  Maybe it's because your tongue is red.
My mommy and daddy are done growing, but now their brain is growing. 
Coloring:
It's a poodle fish.  Part French poodle, part fish!
This is a father face! (Complete with beard and no smile)
When...:
When the sun goes down!  But that means it's going to be dark!
When I go home, I'm going to go home... put my new jacket on!  I got a new jacket!  It's comfortable!  I won't see you in the fall.  Because I'll be six and we're not best friends.
My mom always makes ice cream cake when I'm asleep.
I-statements:
I do NOT like shoes from Target.  I will NOT get shoes from Target.
I have a Mama Mia movie at my house - it's not scary at all!
I have too much cups at my house!  (Too many?) Yea- NO.  Too MUCH.
I am... wet in the pants.
Every book I get from the library YOU are going to read.
I wanna show you running over my hand with the bike.  (He did, and he started crying.)
Miss Anna-statements:
Miss Anna, you're four.  Actually, I'm four.
Miss Anna, is that how a princess sings? (I was humming under my breath whilst coloring.  Apparently so!)
Miss Anna - you can come to my birthday; I live in Colorado!
Overheard conversations:
Do you have a brother? No, only a sister. Do you play tackle football downstairs? No, we don't even have a football.
How about we have the dinosaur party RIGHT HERE.  No, I want to go to the car show. 

Saturday, March 3, 2012

stuff my kids said this week [3/3]

Dental hygiene:
If you don't brush your teeth, you have to get bracelets!
Science fiction:
I have super eyeballs and a robot smsh-smsh-brain!  You know what a robot is, right?
To protect and serve?:
The police monster doesn't wake up when it's nighttime.  Just daytime.
Concerning dentists:
When the dentist cut my mommy's tummy off, it didn't really hurt.
But this marker smells like dentist.  

Sunday, February 26, 2012

stuff my kids said [over the last month or so]

The "Did-You-Knows":
Did you know?  I have camera eyes!  I can see under snow and grass!
Did you know I have cookies on the side of my backpack?
Did you know I'm a famous artist?  Because I can draw Rapunzel! 
You know Darth Vader's in charge, right? 
Shapes:
What is that? (I literally could not think of another word for this shape he had drawn... so I said a quadrilateral.  I know.) Oh!  A qatsawata!  I can always make a qatsawata!
Econ101:
You know why people need money?  To buy stuff.  To buy lollipops.  Because you can't just have them. 
Reality:
Miss Anna - I can't pet my dog anymore.  (Aww, how come?) He died.
Animal sounds:
A snake makes a noise like this: Aaaooooooooo!!!
Miss Anna, I can make a really cute kitty sound!  (It was pretty much an ambulance siren noise.) 
 Anatomy:
Are eyes the shortest on your body?
We went to the doctor and my mommy pulled my a** out! (Oh!  That's a naughty word; we don't say that.) Yeah, because you could die!
Ahh! My belly button split!
I spit up in the sink, and it hurt my tummy and I had a fever... and I had a baby in my tummy. 
Apathy:
Sophie throwed up today.  On our table.  And we saw her food.  But whatever.  We saw beans and carrots.
Miss Anna, I know it makes you sad, but no thank you. 
Oh really:
Well, a spider could shoot the boat and it would collapse!  (Really? A spider?) Miss Anna, I was meanting a robot spider! 
Seriously? You think your mom is a princess?
I'm going to be a kitty in a couple of minutes.  Little kitty in the classroom.  It's called "Kitty's Playground!" 
I'm going to hit you with a book.  (Hey, that's not very nice!) I mean a fake book! 
I see Aidan D.  (But he already went home!)  He's in my brain!  Do you want me to pull him out?
Miss Anna, these shoes can do anything! 
In my mouth is a whistle! 
Hey Miss Anna, guess what I saw!  A dead dragon!  (Oh wow, where'd you see that?) At the dragon museum when I was two!
I can sing like a fairy.  Or a princess.
I can sing like a cool dude.  
I'm not going to guess until you tell me! 
We are learning important things! 
Bathroom humor:
I have a lot of poop energy!
That was like a potty dance that he did.  Or a potty sing?  ...Creepy. 

Sunday, January 29, 2012

stuff my kids said this week [1/27]

An original song:
I'm so awesome - everybody likes me!
Thoughts on the book I read them about astronauts:
Ughhhhh, I hate space!
A moon with lipstick?  Whaatttt?
Thoughts on having your own bed:
Sleeping with nobody is actually pretty fun!
Coloring:
I wish I could marry purple.
This is a sunburnt color.
This crayon is... naked.  (The wrapper had fallen off)  
Coloring all day wears me out! 
Chewing gum:
Miss Anna, you have the same gum as yesterday!  You never like to eat gum in the summer?
Affection:
Can I sit in your lap?  But I LOVE you!
(I asked a boy for a purple dinosaur he was playing with:) No! You're not my girlfriend!
I like you longtime. 
A natural conclusion:
You little BABY! (Hon, she's older than you.) Well... then I'm going to put marker on her face.
Travel stories:
When I went to Hong Kong, I got the last balloon.
I asked a little girl if she would want the same shoes as Hello Kitty:
But they're Hello Kitty's!  (What if she gave them to you?) She's not in the world, you goober!
Snack time:
They're yummy and crummy.  Rhymes.  I just did a rhyme!
Matters of height:
You know what?  My daddy drinks alcohol, and that's why he's tall!
A little boy walks out of the restroom before pulling up his pants, and one little girl remarks:
I never like seeing that.  Ever.
Two girls have moms that are both tall and dark-haired, one boy remarked:
Sophie and Brianna kinda have the same mom.
A little girl sniffs a My Little Pony:
It smells like my dinner.
Reality:
Star Wars is real life.  Because I saw it on TV.  They're REAL PEOPLE.  With real sticks! (Lightsabers)
Expressions:
You're running like a chicken with your eye off!
Truth:
Cake will make it better! 

stuff my kids said last week

A student greets me as I enter:
Do you have long arms?
One boy gets excited for his weekend at the condo:
They even have a hot tub! And I'm going in it!  There are strong jets, and lights, and three fountains.  And I like the blood! (???)  Red lights!  It even goes on big jets - STRONG jets!
Thoughts on superheroes:
Batman is a nice guy.
I turned into a thunder eagle.
I'm trying to be Secret Agent Coyote.
Snack time:
Miss Anna, I didn't want my snack today, so I choose to eat YOU!
Do you want to see my fake choking?
Santa remains a Big Brother figure in the kids' minds:
If you be bad one more time... Santa told me you're bad.
Size matters:
Because we're bigger than you guys... by a little bit.  But YOU'RE (pointing at me) way bigger than all of us!
Do you wanna try to touch the ceiling? (A father walked in... who was nearly seven feet tall.)
The orange safety goggles were a hit:
Hey!  Orange me!  Now let me orange you!
Interesting pronunciation:
Come on!  We have to trap the Paris-a-mantis! (Praying mantis)
With confidence:
I have the beautista...ful... one.
Art lessons:
You're not supposed to draw purple eyes.  Because they're supposed to be brown.
Endearing:
Miss Anna, I missed you when I was at my condo.
You make my tummy funny.  My tummy told me to hug you. 
One girl forgot to wear a belt with her over-large pants, and when they fell down:
What!  Are you SERIOUS, man??
Playing outside:
Ahh!  Did you send that sun into my eyes??
I wanna KILL that rainbow.
Ethics:
Make a choice to be good.  Make a good choice.  And don't do anything not good.
Obedience:
My baby dinosaur doesn't know how to listen. 

Friday, January 6, 2012

[1/6] stuff my kids said today

 One of my girls explains how a maze works:
If you get trapped by a ghost, you're lost.
One of my kids had finished a connect-the-dots picture of a birthday cake.  I "pretended" to want to eat it.  My kid responds:
Don't you get it, Miss Anna?  It's just a dot-to-dot!  Do NOT eat it!  It's just coloring!
One boy comments on another's choice in hats:
Mason!  You're half-pirate, Mason!
One girl explains why I sometimes have trouble with them misbehaving:
 Well... we don't listen to you when you're here, but we do listen when Miss Stacey's (the main teacher) here... because we don't want to get in trouble.  (You'll still get in trouble if you don't listen to me, though.) Oooohhhhhhhhh....
Every day when we transition from outside to inside, we pretend to be secret agents (a better way of saying, let's all be insanely quiet as we walk to our classroom).  One boy decides:
I'm secret Batman!
As one girl plays with the kitchen set, I overhear the following:
Shake stuff is medicine, sometimes.
Uhmmm... who put the bacon on me?  (response from another little girl: "The teacher.") 
I think he should go to elementary school, never be here again.  So he won't disturb you anymore.
One little boy is obsessed with all things fireman-related.  He wears a fireman helmet everyday (or did for the majority of the fall "semester"), and plays with the Rescue Heroes constantly.  I overhear him talking on the walkie-talkie:
Come in!  This is Fireman Siff!  Come in!  ...New coffee, thanks!
I was having trouble figuring out what a girl's drawing was... she explained it rather nicely:
This is a lovely piano... and lovely shoes... and hearts... and a lovely pink tongue!
One boy and I have a scar on the same place over our left eyebrows.  I pointed this out to him, and the other kids overheard.  So, for the next ten minutes, they chanted:
You lost an eyebrow!  You lost an eyebrow!
As we lined up to go inside, one boy asserted:
I hate... I hate the MOON!  (Why, hon?) I hate the moon because the moon kind of chases my home.  And I don't like that!
Another says (no explanation necessary):
I want a pet eagle!
One boy drew a picture of a really fat man.  There were features of the man I could identify, but beneath the belly button, I saw something that seemed a bit strange.  It looked like three parallel lines to the side of the stomach.  I spent the next half-hour trying to get the boy to tell me what it was.  These are some of my favorite lines from that conversation:
I don't wanna tell... it's kind of secret.  (Lots of giggles.)
Only boys have 'em - right here (He points to his chest, and one little girl who is eavesdropping says: BOOBIES! I reply, No... boys don't have boobies.  He responds, with a huge smile on his face:) My daddy does!
 I don't wanna tell you... because you might tell the other kids and... it might freak you out.
Ok, I'll give you a hint... (Writes the letters O-T-S on his paper) What's that spell?  (I said, Ots.  At this point, he busts up laughing - slapping his knees - and says:) I tricked you!  That's not a clue!
Here's a REAL clue:  it kinda rhymes with 'three'.  (The eavesdropping girl shouts in response: TURTLES!)
Once I finally got him to whisper it in my ear, because I was thoroughly intrigued and confused, he said:
It's... a three-pack!  You know?  Part of your muscles!  I'll probably have them when I'm six.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

[1/3] stuff my kids said today

There were a lot of good one-liners today.  Enjoy!

These next few have no (and need no) context:
We have to be beautiful - it's so rainy!
And Pocahontas can climb trees really fast... and... and she can paint with the wind.  That's impossible.  To paint with the wind.
Everyone can fly - even dinosaurs!  But not people.
Hippo starts with H.  (What else starts with H? I was trying to get the little girl to recognize her own name starts with that letter) Hug? (Yes, what else?) Nug? ...Snowflake?
No, they're not bunnies - they're a STAR.  And you said 'pissles.'
I love wind.  It makes me so fast. 
Yeah... I don't understand words.
You can be invited to my birthday, if you like.  Then... I don't have bad luck!  (When?) when I grow up to be four! 
I read them a book, and a character was named Mrs Plum.  I asked if anyone knew what a plum was:
Oh!  It's... a... purple circle. 

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Twenty One, Two, Three, Four


HAPPY DECEMBER 21, 22, 23, and 24!

I'm thankful for a number of things, these days.  Briefly:
I'm thankful for new beginnings.  To not only be who I want to be, but be who I am.  And be completely accepted, loved, and encouraged.  Unlike when I went off to PBU (and I was confused about who I was, whose I was, and where I was going), I am here with support.  Not only am I "claimed" by Kevin, I am certain of my state before the Lord.  With that, I have confidence, I have opportunity to share that.   
I'm thankful for our youth group.  The other night, we had our first youth group party at our apartment: A Grinch-themed Christmas Party.  It was so much fun!  Although our apartment is small, the food was good, the games were fun, and the fellowship was sweet.  I am so looking forward to getting to know these kids more!  Definitely looking forward to our retreat in January!  
I'm thankful for the Jewish faith.  Romans 9 says, "They are Israelites, and to them belong the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises.  To them belong the patriarchs, and from their race, according to the flesh, is the Messiah who is God over all, blessed forever.  Amen."  Kevin and I have begun a "new" tradition (new for our family, that is): celebrating Chanukah.  We have our beautiful, pristine menorah... had to look up how to actually observe the holiday... and though we're not giving gifts each day and not being technically "Jewish" about the whole thing (yet!), we observe the miracle of Chanukah by lighting the candles.  And we are able to observe it with the greater, deeper meaning and fulfillment in Christ.  
Isaiah 2:5
O house of Jacob,
come, let us walk
in the light of the LORD 
John 1:9-11, 4-5
The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world.  He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him.  He came to his own, and his own did not receive him.  In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
In the same vein, I'm thankful for the gift of Jesus.  (Understatement of my entire life!)  Although the "biggest" holiday of the faith is Easter Sunday - for if Christ had not been raised, we are of all people most to be pitied - I like my college professor's take on the topic.  Jesus' life was a Christ event.  One major event could not have happened without the other: if He had not been born, He could not have died; if He had not died, He could not have been resurrected, etc.  I am thankful that He humbled Himself and came in our form.  The author of Hebrews puts it this way: Therefore, he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.  He is our Savior, He is our High Priest, He is our Hope.  And it is His birth we will celebrate tomorrow.  God-made-man.  The radiance of God the Father in an infant, human body.  This day is the start of something new, something permanent and perfect.  For He came to die - and His sacrifice is our hope!  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful!  

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Seven


HAPPY DECEMBER SEVEN!

I am thankful for history.  Today is the 70th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor.  What images show up in your head when you hear the words Pearl Harbor?  For me, it's not a scene from the epic-length (read: horrendously boring) movie touted as a romance from 2001.  It's a paragraph from my 11th grade US History textbook and a clip from Tora! Tora! Tora!  Years back I mentioned to my little sister (God bless her) that it was Pearl Harbor Day.  She thought a moment then said, "OH YEAH!  ...Who's that again?"

Seventy years is not that far removed.  Yet, do we commemorate the way we ought to?  Pearl Harbor is but one example of the way we 'honor' a day in history, without taking a moment to recognize its significance and consequent impact on our history.  

To say history is important is an monumental understatement.  Yet our generation does not (and is not taught to) observe the things of the past.  The difficult things.  The low points and tragedies.  The victories.  The turning points.  How then can we learn?

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.  --George Santayana.

[12/6] stuff my kids said today

Said by my fave:
Mason kicked my hand and he made it redder so I can have a hot lava hand!
I think I can drink a whole water fountain full of water!
Did Jingles the elf visit YOUR house last night, Miss Anna?  (I said no...) Hmmmm.  Maybe he's too busy trying to learn how to fly. 
One of the kids had a football, just carrying it around, so a fellow teacher decided to encourage them to "Throw it like Tebow!"  He looked at her, looked at the ball, and said:
No, a t-ball is different. 
Then a little girl gave her input: 
That's what my daddy says: GO TIM TEBOW!!!
A girl came up to me and asked if I wanted to hear a "really funny song that her big brother sings":
ABCDEFG... (uhmm) ABC... ABCEDFG... Barney knows my name.  Stick a rocket up his nose, watch him fly away.

Six


HAPPY DECEMBER SIX!

(Just think of this as one of those days you forgot to eat the chocolate on its exact day in your advent calendar.  It happens!)

I am thankful that attitude is a choice.  Today (well, yesterday) was full of... inconvenience.  I was irritated.  Things just didn't seem to go right.  I wasn't having what, classically, you would call a "good day".  But you know what?  Attitude is a choice: not dependent on your circumstances.  I do not need to be 'manipulated' by seemingly inconvenient situations; I can have control of my emotions. 

I like little sayings like the ones below.  They can help to make a bad day better.

To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy... is to set our own conditions to the events of each day.  To do this is to condition circumstances instead of being conditioned by them.  --Ralph Waldo Emerson.
An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered.  An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.   --GK Chesterton.  
Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined.  Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind.  --Shakespeare. 
We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.  --Romans 8:28.
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  --2 Corinthians 12:7-9.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  --1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. 

Sunday, December 4, 2011

tave care


Quotes from Apologetics:  class members, interruptions, and the ever erudite Dr Brian Toews

Feel free to comment & add.  I forget the context of some of these.  Sorry.

"The Bible is a really bizarre book.  Theology smoothes it out."
Toews.

"He's a Christian.  Oops."
(On the pastor who threatened to have a Quran bonfire)
Toews.

"[Salvation is] not a sort of magic ticket."
Toews.

"Post-modernism is dead.  Did you all know that?"
Toews.

"Remember 1 Samuel 4?  The Ark of the Covenant was like Israel's lucky charm.  Right?  They're magically delicious."
Toews.

"[The ontological argument says,] 'It's such a good idea, it has to be true.'"
Toews.

"Pick up a map.  There's Jerusalem.  Done."
(On the classical method of apologetics)
Toews.

"Kierkegaard.  He's one of those tricky fellows.  Like a nineteenth century Socrates."
(Pronounced "soccer-tees")
Toews.

Toews: "Amanuensis.  Anyone know what that means?"
Brieanne: "God with us... writing?"

Girl in class: "I'd say she's worth a chance."
(On George Eliot's hypothetical salvation)
Me (under my breath): "I sure as heck hope so!"

"The Hebrew text wins."
(On the topic of canonicity of Scripture and concept of vorlage)
Toews.

"Once they make a movie of it, it's over.  Like... Power Rangers."
(On Dan Brown's DaVinci Code, etc)
Toews.

"...Probably no one wants to follow up on that."
Toews.

"The scrolls have little... cubbies.  Is that what they're called?  ...That's probably not the technical term for it."
Toews.

"The idea of human flawedness... Flawedness.  I really like that word, flawedness."
(On authorship of the Bible)
Toews.

"Jesus, You're asking all the right questions."
Brieanne.

"Would He have been reading His scroll like, 'Hey! I'm that guy.  That's me.'"
(On whether or not Jesus always knew He was Messiah)
Toews, tapping the Bible, looking slightly confused.

"Excuse me, iTunes needs your attention."
Someone's laptop/phone.

"This is going to go kind of fast so just stop me and say, 'Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, I'm lost.'"
Toews.

"This is sort of your plain-Jane Bible with marginal notes."
Toews.

"Even Peter doesn't understand Paul!"
Toews.

Toews: "Did I say 5?"
Brieanne (whispered): "You said 4."

"That's after 300 years!  Our country hasn't even been old that long!"
(On the Nicene Creed, ~4th century AD)
Toews.

"Variants among manuscripts are like... static."
Toews.

"I like that metaphor.  It helps me out."
(On the above quote "static")
Toews.

"I'm going to dig this one out from way back, so it's like... cobwebs."
Toews.

"It's Jude... I've said that three times in a row."
Toews.

"It'd be like quoting Paul and then quoting... Rick Warren.  Or citing Luther and using his view to interpret the text."
Toews.

"Dr Toews and Dr Krewson agree with Kevin!"
(Written)
Kevin Trivits.

"I think something huge is going to be found is Israel that's going to make the Dead Sea Scrolls look like child's play."
Toews.

"When was that, in '48?  We're about due for another monumental discovery!  Some guy's gonna walk down the street, fall into a hole... you know?"
Toews.

"There's a whole chronicle written by Isaiah about the reign of Uzziah out there somewhere, but in the book of Isaiah there's... a half verse."
Toews.

"Christianity is just...absolute...genius."
Toews.

"It was so bold and brilliant of God to just unleash the Word on the world for translation and interpretation."
Toews.

"This is a bunch of stuff... we'll talk about...."
(Flipping through the powerpoint really fast)
Toews.

"This is a word that says, 'but'."
(Funnier out of context... he was pointing to a word in a Greek manuscript)
Toews.

"You all know the map, I'm just really butchering it."
Toews.

Toews: "Also, there were several translations into the Gothic, which I had a chance to work with when I was in Germany."
Kevin: "*Siigghhhhh* You're so cool."

"'Wait wait wait... Spirit? Don't you mean the Holy Spirit?' (answering himself) "Hey man, stop pestering me - give me a break."
Toews.

"A scribe is like making a study Bible - inserting notes like we do in our Bibles, copied by the next scribe."
Toews.

"Jesus exegetes God."
Toews.

"Anybody know what I'm talking about?  Anyone read it?  ...It's in my office.  I should probably read it."
(On a book about the scientific evidence for the afterlife)
Toews.

"There's really nothing like the Bible.  A genre unto itself."
Toews.

"If anything, Christianity is not escapist.  Jesus learned obedience through the things He suffered.  He walks with us through the valley of the shadow of death.  He asked His disciples to take up their crosses after Him."
Toews.

"The miracles of Jesus are little pictures of this world restored."
(On Jesus healing the blind, lame... raising the dead to life)
Toews.

"Tell her we didn't turn hers in."
Kevin Trivits... to Bethany & Brieanne (skippers).

"Can you all see that?  It's shades of blue."
Toews.

"I remember one time I sat down and thought I'd go through all the alternate readings of the New Testament.  By the time I was done, I was so bored I couldn't believe it."
Toews.

"For Ehrman, I think it's more like a half glass empty.  And us, a half glass full."
Toews.

"As people of the Book, if you mess this up, it changes everything."
Toews.

"It is with care the Jews and Christians took in preserving their Scripture.  This is the center of everything we are."
Toews.

"The only Jesus, salvation, and gospel you know is that that comes from Scripture."
Toews.

"A Wordless Christian is a Christless Christian."
Toews.

"The word of God is not bound to the original document.  It's the words!  It is not bound and shackled by the material on which it is written.  And the words themselves are not bound by language... the words themselves can be unleashed by translation."
Toews.

"I speak Greek, you speak Latin... oh well.  No!  With the spread of the Gospel, the Word was translated into Syriac, Aramaic, Latin... and away we go!"
Toews.

"That's not a translation.  The Message.  That's... something else."
Toews.

"The Incarnation is our best example of a translation.  God is not man, but God translated Himself into a man.  Jesus is the translation of God into the human realm."
Toews.

"Some scribe coughed and lost it... fell asleep, a little drool came out... water and manuscripts just don't mix!"
Toews.

"God did this for this purpose to validate this message to you."
(On the use of miracles in the Old and New Testaments by prophets)
Toews. 

"Some Money Acts Circle Kevin."
(Written)
Kevin Trivits. 

"You can be a Christian and be upset at religion, right?  That was Martin Luther's whole deal."
Toews.

"It's sort of like preaching to the choir, isn't it?  Come, let's have a class where we read all the books that agree with our beliefs... that's not what we're about.  Here, we are face-to-face with unbelief, in a safe place where we can have our questions asked and answered."
Toews.

"This is an opportunity to own it now."
(On senior year)
Brieanne.

"The trial of our faith ends up strengthening our faith.  It makes it stronger... and it's my thought that after this class, we won't be surprised by anything."
Toews.

"That's the tenth thing I've dropped today."
Toews.

"We care about it and the atheists care about it.  Everyone in between just picks and chooses."
Toews.

"There's nothing like an angry fundamentalist.  Just turns off everybody.  You're not like that."
Toews.

"I have my personal opinions about powerpoints... powerpoints are boring."
Toews.

"I like paper. (Whispered) Write that down."
Brieanne.

"As soon as we get to one topic, it's like BLIP! off to the next one.  It's like Russian roulette, we'll finally get something into your head."
Toews.

"Smack the midget's __________."
Anna/Brieanne.

"Make an S.  Make another S.  That spells SS."
Anna/Brieanne.

"Yes, I've got the answers to miracles!  They're right here, on this sheet of paper."
Toews.

"I'm not even trying to please you.  That's not my job.  My job is education.  And Jesus was educated through suffering, right?  But, no - that's not my educational philosophy!  Just hopefully something will tickle your pleasure center."
Toews.

"Oh!  Very good!  Watch Instantly!  Love that!"
(On Netflix)
Toews.

Anna: "Did she say Twilight?"
Brieanne: "...Of Atheism."

"You now have evangelicals in all the right places, to borrow from a song I don't even know."
(On anti-intellectualism... kind of)
Toews.

"Thank God for Hitchens, then, if the Church can look itself in the face and say we've got a lot of ugly warts.  Let's become more like Christ."
Toews.

"The Church's theology has grown because it's under attack.  It has been forced to go back to Scripture and work through this."
Toews.

"The charismatic movement has grown... it came out of LA.  Of all places."
Toews.

"That's a long time... Oooooh lacy!"
Bethany.

"Oh!  Notes of Quotes!  That's a good one!"
Anna.

"I really just want to order a pizza and have it delivered here."
Mike.

"Like there's a lot of cooler talk... except there is no cooler anymore.  Right?  It's sort of "I love Lucy"-ish."
Toews.

"What I put up here is.... ahhhhhhhh... nothing."
Toews.

"If you hear that phrase in an article or from the pulpit, perk up your ears, because the next thing they say is going to be really important."
(On Jesus of History versus Christ of the Faith)
Toews.

"Thank you.  Yeah, we're done with powerpoint.  Who needs powerpoint.  Let's all sit on the floor and act all emotional."
(When he was pointing at something on the screen when the screen turned off... still pointing at the screen)
Toews.

"Well, I'm going to do what you said not to do.  This is a footnote.  So if you're reading my lecture here, this would appear down at the bottom."
Toews.

"This is spiritually unproductive.  It is a hypothetical, conjectural reconstruction of the historical source of the Gospels."
(On the Jesus Seminar)
Toews.

"There's probably more evidence that Jesus rose from the dead than that George Washington ever lived."
"...Yeah, that was probably hyperbole."
"...I wish I had this at my fingertips.  What I meant by that George Washington quip was that there are so many historical events that people take at face value."
Toews.

"It's not just skepticism, it's cynicism.  It's not doubt, it's suspicion.  It's just seen as a power play."
Toews.

"The burden of proof is upon us."
Toews.

"We have our content, but we don't see Jesus, He's in heaven.  But the container of our faith is seen throughout Scripture, Church history, and the impact of the Resurrection."
Toews.

"If you're trying to make a power play, if you're trying to create a Jesus that resonates with the Jews, you wouldn't use women!"
(On women being the first witnesses to the Resurrection)
Toews.

"It's too late to do 2000 years later to do what the Jesus Seminar is doing."
Toews.

"The most plausible explanation for why you and I are here today is that there was an empty tomb.  Affecting not only the Apostles, but the subsequent generations."
Toews.

"Christianity is inexplicable without a Resurrection."
Toews.

"There were Jews teaching Jesus as God in the Gospels.  What would have caused them to have such a radical development in their concept of God?"
Toews.

"Jesus is the New Man fit for the new World at the End of the Age.  This is so dissimilar to Jewish understanding.  Where would they have gotten this idea?  Same idea of having Jesus as divine.  If you're going to do this, you might as well make it something the Jews will accept!  You're making it harder on yourself!"
Toews.

"If nothing happened, this is a whole bunch of hookyhah."
Toews.

"They're either liars, crazy people, or it actually happened."
(On the disciples, a la Josh McDowell)
Toews.

"A dead Messiah is no good to anybody."
Toews.

"It's almost a greater miracle that these guys fabricated this whole thing unnecessarily.  To what end?"
Toews.

"Have a great weekend!  I hope all of your dreams come true."
Toews. 

"Don't follow the 'ism'.  Good rule of thumb."
Brie & Anna.

"Ohhhh... because Athens is the capital of logic."
Brieanne.

"Descartes is 'I think therefore I am'; Kant is 'let's just figure out what we're doing here.'"
Anna.

"STICK TO THE ACRONYM!  Acronyms are the key!"
Anna.

For the causes & features of the Enlightenment:
At-Risk Rangers Still Play Risk
(Aquinas/Aristotle, Renaissance, Reformation, Science, Philosophy, Religious Wars)
Apples Rest Under Peach Stores, Ever Popular
(Autonomy, Reason, Universal, Progress, Secular, Economics, Popular Government)

"Caesar might say that he is Lord and Savior, but I have to say something different, it is the guy who died on the cross who is."
Toews.  (Thanks, Mike!)

"If you ever get lost in theology, just go to Jesus. He will solve all your problems."
Toews.  (Thanks, Bethany!)

"No one should say the word 'Christmas' before Thanksgiving."
Toews.

"I think the beauty of the Christian life is that it's Incarnational."
Toews.

"This might be kind of a bold statement, but I think it's mostly true: we have to earn the right to speak.  It's a life of integrity over the long haul that gives you a platform to speak as a Christian about things that matter."
Toews.

"I just don't think he'd want to be ugly when sharing the beauty of the Gospel.  Or hateful when sharing the love of Christ."
Toews.

"If there is one thing I recommend that you preserve in your public, private, spiritual lives is your integrity.  It only takes one mistake to ruin that.  The value of a good name, the Bible talks a whole lot about that.  It doesn't take a whole lot to destroy that reputation.  We are the living embodiment of the Gospel in our lives."
Toews.

"I know when I'm under pressure... because... I starts to stutter."
Toews.

"I don't know how much there is to argue with... these are all biblical words: integrity, love... haha."
Toews.

Toews: "I don't know this word: apiarist."
Anna: "It's like a beekeeper."
Toews: "Oh!  Well done!  Go to the head of the class!"
(I don't move)
Toews: "No?"
Anna: "No, I'm good."
Toews: "Very good."

"That's not an 'i'... that's nothing."
(Misspelled "religious" on the board)
Toews.

"That sort of relates to the question you're asking.  Well, I should hope it relates or I wouldn't have brought it up."
Toews.

Toews: "Any Bonhoeffer fans?"
Sarah S: "Yes!"
Toews: "Ah!  She speaks!"

"In a sort of backhanded way, I can thank God for a book like Hitchens'."
Toews.

"You really know you've made a deal when you have Nazi flags in your church."
(On Protestant churches in Nazi Germany)
Toews.

"The church has got itself into problems when it has allied itself with state power.  I don't think most pastors think twice about it, but maybe they should think twice about it.  If there's one sort of Achilles' heel with the Church, it is seduced by the thought of political power."
Toews.

"There's going to be a time when your knowledge of the Bible is really going to matter.  For Bonhoeffer, it really mattered."
Toews. 

"I finished my eportfolio, I filled out my acceptance letter to the School of Ed...."
Bethany Peace.

"So it's like... surprise!"
(On Psalm 77:16-20)
Toews.

"There's some pretty interesting stuff in the Bible."
Toews.

"It's pretty packed!  We've got the sun, we've got birds, the moon... the sky is pretty packed!"
Toews.

"And these are the stars in the udder of the cow."
Toews.

"It's not crazy, it's really sort of ordinary."
(On the narrative of Creation)
Toews.

"You're probably going to be really confused after tonight.  It's not my intention to confuse you.  It's my intention to show you how many decisions you have to make about the Genesis Creation account.  It's a wild ride."
Toews.

"I assume you're all conservative evangelicals, and you have no problem living in a heliocentric system."
Toews.

"Don't talk to me about hours and minutes!  It's poetry, man!  Work on the other side of your brain a little bit!"
Toews.

"Ok!  Stop!  Genre mistake!"
Toews.

"Based upon the text of the Bible, what in the world is going on?"
Toews.

"You all read books, right?  ..."
Toews.

"I think the real interesting stuff is all the questions I have."
Toews.

"At one point, there was nothing.  Whatever that word means."
Toews.

"It's the standpoint of just your average Joe person looking out at the world."
"Joe Human standing on the world looking around."
Toews.

Student singing in the hallway: "Ohh heaven is a place on earth! You make heaven a place on earth!"
Toews: "No, we don't have classes at night at PBU.  Never happens.  NEVER HAPPENS!  ...Anyway, so..."

"McCory (?), Weinberg, sounds the same."
Toews.

"If you give ground in regards to Adam, you're going to give ground to the Second Adam, and His death, burial and resurrection."
Toews.

"Bruce Waltke is like the Godfather of Old Testament theology."
Toews.

"The book of nature and the book of Scripture are not necessarily in conflict."
Toews.

"I would never want to have coffee or sit down to talk with these folks... they kind of scare me!"
(On the Answers in Genesis people)
Toews.

"It has the feel of Sunday schoolish."
(On Answers in Genesis)
Toews.

Toews: "If there's one thing that's important in the Pentateuch, it's the land the land the land the land."
Brieanne: "I love Toews."

"They took one of those age machines..."
Victor.

"You might be right, and that'd be great!"
Toews.

"'By Jesus Christ, God created the Promised Land.'  In one fell swoop, I'm true to Paul and I'm true to Moses, and the issue of origins is out the window."
Toews.

"Slow down, Kevin!"
Toews.

"So God is really like a host, welcoming a person into His home.  ...Here's an easy chair, this is for you!  These utensils are for cutting the fish or whatever."
Toews.

"Man's not meant to live on anything but the land.  You've seen Waterworld?  Don't watch it, it's the worst movie ever."Toews.

"What a great host!  What a joy to be living in God's world!  He's awesome!"
Toews.

"So much of what God does is piece by piece."
(On the meaningfulness of the number of days throughout Scripture... 40, 10, 3, 7, etc as the pattern of God's work)
Toews.

Toews: "Why couldn't Jesus just die and then stand up?"
Brieanne: "Surprise!"
Toews: "I mean... did it take Him that long?"

"My personal reading of the Pentateuch says that there is no other way to read 7 days than 7 days."
Toews. 

"This is the book, my little show and tell."
(The Lost World of Genesis One, John Walton)
Toews.

"Always read the fine print... aha, just kidding.  But on the other hand, always read the fine print."
(Explaining the syllabus)
Toews.

"I'll probably be a zombie.  It'll all turn out backwards."
Toews.

"My assistant will put those up online and will put them in your boxes tomorrow, so... you'll have them for the weekend!"
Toews.

"A love song is a love song is a love song."
Toews.

"It's a game changer."
Toews.

"Adam is huge.  You can avoid a lot of issues here, but you can't avoid those passages.  He's there right along with David and Solomon and Jesus... Individual persons that are part of the history of our world."
Toews.

"I think that's the dilemma.  I think that's the right word to use here."
Toews.

Toews: "I might feel a little uneasy... waiting till Hebrews to find out about that, but then again, we had to wait till Revelation to find out the serpent is the Devil. "
Brieanne: "That's so tricky."

"This reads like Greek mythology... and the god's blood is ripped open and there's his blood and the other gods took the blood and formed humans out of it.  And we're just like... what?"
Toews.

"It would not surprise me if this were of a different kind completely.  Put Genesis 1 into a genre.  But if he makes a genre mistake, he's going to force Genesis 1 into this functional account, which would be a mistake."
Toews.

"If a scholar comes in and changes the interpretation of Leviticus, we're all just like... hmmmmm ok.  It's Leviticus."
Toews.

"Think how uneasy Christians would have been in the Reformation.  One day you have a Catholic priest and the next week he's reading Luther's work and he's a Protestant.  What?  Flip me out man!  And you have the religious wars."
Toews.

"I don't think that's the right approach to try to solve the pressure that we're under because of these issues.  Right?  Now I can go to work and be like, 'Hey, how about those evolutionists?  What great guys!' 'Hey yeah!  Evolution, right on!'"
Toews.

"Even if this solves the evolution issue, we still have a God issue we have to solve.  We still have the same Gospel."
Toews.

"Loren Haarsma must be the Loren Haarsma of the book."
Toews.

"I have to stay within the parameters of my education so... I don't sound like an idiot, right?"
Toews.

"If you go this route, you're going to have other human...ids who died before Genesis 3."
Toews.

"Is it going to take all of these crazy hermeneutic gymnastics to make this fit?  I don't want to make the Bible fit."
Toews.

"Tigris is a real place, Tigris doesn't mean anything, Tigris means Tigris."
Toews.

"All the man and woman had to do was say no to the serpent.  She could take the fruit, slice it, dice it, prepare it anyway she wants... She can make apple pie, just can't eat it."
Toews.

"The Garden is like the Super Bowl.  One event for all time."
Toews.

"I probably should know this, but I don't know what this means."
(Concordist v non-concordist)
Toews.

"Oh! They changed it on me!  That's not right!"
(Looking for a video on the Biologos website)
Toews.

"Look at Dr Hirt's brother."
(Tim Keller on the back of his book)
Brieanne.

"Sometimes old people look like dolls."
Bethany.

"He looks sort of drunk here... to start."
(NT Wright, his face frozen in the video before it was fully loaded)
Toews.

"They're not big, buzzy issues."
NT Wright.

"Maybe fuzzy is the right word for this matter."
Toews.

"I'm going to butcher this, I always think of these things way too late."
Toews.

"Have a nice weekend and I hope all your Thanksgiving dreams come true!"
Toews.

"I feel bad for the Holy Spirit."
Bethany.

"If you've already finished your research paper, it's going to be all blah blah blah for the first 15 minutes."
(45 minutes later.......)
Toews.

"You're not writing a wikipedia article."
Toews.

"Don't worry about me - I'll be ok!  Pick a topic for you!"
Toews.

"If I get kicked out, that'll be annoying.  ...Oh!  Huzzah!"
(Going back to a website that he thought had closed)
Toews.

"The OWL site... O-W-L, at Purdue University."
(Largest air quotes I've ever seen)
Toews.

"Brieanne either looks like a female entrepreneur or a female preacher.  I can't tell which."
Kevin.

"This is the not very glamorous part of reading and research.  You sit in a chair, you do your time.  My advice to you: stay in the chair.  ...But seriously, the work of a researcher is pretty lonely.  I have found it pretty exhilarating.  What can I say?"
Toews.

Toews: "I did a very sort of 'researchette'..."
Brieanne (whispered): "Ah!  So cute!"

"I basically had a paper written in about 10 minutes, just playing around."
Toews.

"Do you google?"
Toews.

"'But Dr Toews, our library doesn't have this book!' Don't worry - it's on Google!  And I always figure I can get enough of the book to do a paper!"
Toews.

"This is Ed Tech.  Toews-style."
Brieanne.

"Peer reviewed scholarship is the way that knowledge goes forward."
Toews.

"That's Stanford, right? It's a pretty good place."
Toews.

(Looking for a book/article online, as the page loads) "Beautiful!  Awesome!  Great!  ERRRRRRRRRrrrrrrr! Ah!  Google books!  Boo bam!  If this were an interesting book, that'd go right on my reference list!"
Toews.

"Just don't plagiarize - that's the worst.  I've been reading your papers all year, I know what you sound like."
Toews.

"Work hard, do your best, sit in a chair."
Toews.

"A 'works consulted' page is like Hansel and Gretel.  The little bread crumbs.  I can see the kinds of articles and books you've consulted.  If you want to give me a 'works consulted' page, that's something for me."
Toews.

"Ah I sound like Carmen Sandiego.  Where do I go?  What next?  Where do I go, right?"
Toews.

(To a student saying she was excited to not be having a 'final class') "None taken!  Oh my goodness!  I hope my skin's a little thicker than that!"
Toews.

"It's kind of like the video store, Be Kind Rewind!  Be kind, turn in your papers before midnight."
Toews.

"Now class can start, and we'll take a break.  I'm already spent."
Toews.

"We always do bad together."
Brieanne.

"Has anyone had a near death experience in class?"
Toews.

"The biblical view of life after death is we are resurrected, we go to the seaside and eat fish with Jesus.  Heaven comes to earth."
Toews.

"Our future life will be one of work.  A sort of Garden-like existence: God put men in the garden to serve Him and work and explore."
Toews.

"My expectation of life after death is that it is earthly and productive."
Toews.

"It's not attractive when an afterlife looks... lame.  For lack of a better term."
Toews.

"We are who we are because we can look inside and go, 'There I am! That's me!' Remember when I was 10? I'm somehow, you know, in there."
Toews.

"It's very satisfying to me that my life here is actually going to continue on in the afterlife - that I'll still have this face, this body, these memories."
Toews.

"He's actually further along than most Christians are."
(On Dennett, author of a chapter in the Portable Atheist)
Toews.

"Yeah, we'll be on the beach, eating fish just like He did.  I don't know about walking through walls... but there will be FOOD in the resurrection."
Toews.

"We are made from the ground, we are bound to the ground, we are stuck to the ground by nature of our creation."
Toews.

"I'm not going to Heaven, Jesus comes here.  And if I die before that, I'm coming back with Him."
Toews.

"That's John 14ish."
Toews.

"If I'm going to use John to interpret John to answer your question, that's what I would say."
Toews.

"There's Paul, he dies.  Six feet under.  There's Jesus."
(Explaining his picture on the board)
Toews.

"Yes, these are stick figures.  It's the total retardation of my skills.  I stopped developing artistically at kindergarten."
Toews.

"His view of prayer is like a vending machine: try and get your Twix, your KitKat, your Snickers.  Snickers is the best, by the way.  Anyway."
Toews.

"Moses goes to the Lord, 'Can I get that? Can I get that? Can I get that? Can I get that?'  God gets mad, 'Knock it off!'  God gets annoyed because Moses keeps asking... and He says no."
Toews.

"Dennett doesn't give an inch."
Toews.

"These are some distressing new death - NEAR death experiences."
Toews.

"Repetition is the mother of teaching, right?"
Toews.

"Oh that's perfect!  Everyone's here tonight!"
Toews.

"This is from a book called Jesus and the Victory of God... it's a big fat book."
Toews.

"No one in their right mind would talk about a resurrected person and call him Messiah."
Toews.

"Replace the word 'Christ' with 'Messiah' and all of the sudden, the New Testament becomes a very Old Testament book.  It comes right out of the Prophets and the promise of redemption for the people!"
Toews.

"Why did anyone attach this word to Jesus in the first place?  Are you crazy?  There's only one guy to designate king of the Jews - and that's Caesar.  ...What do you call that?  Bullets... sort of... target.  You have a target on your back."
Toews.

"First of all, you don't talk about your dead Messiah, but they did.  No one's going to buy into a Messiah that didn't defeat the Romans, isn't seated on David's throne in Jerusalem."
Toews.

"How to kill a ministry: get yourself arrested or talk about something so farcical that no one pays you any mind."
Toews.

"The Disciples are doing everything wrong.  The only way it works is if it's true."
Toews.

"The Cross is a stumbling block to the Jews, and foolishness to the Gentiles.  Go and build your religion off that."
Toews.

"Paul takes his Bible and says, 'I know what you expected, but look here, and look here, and look here and look here.'"
Toews.

"No one got that until the Resurrection.  End of the Gospel of Luke.  Jesus opens their eyes: 'It's here! It's here, it's here, it's here, it's here!' through the Prophets, the Psalms and Moses."
Toews.

"They wouldn't have made all those connections without Jesus standing right there revealing it to them."
Toews.

"The best evidence for life after death is Jesus' Resurrection.  It happened in space and time."
Toews.

"That says 'Creator' - without the i.  And that says 'creation'... pretty much with the i."
(His handwriting on the board... basically illegible.)
Toews.