running running running

I captioned the above picture, "Me Time".

By the time I had adjusted my book and my favorite candy just so, taken a picture, readjusted the book, taken a few more pictures, uploaded to Instagram, played with a filter, posted to Instagram and Facebook... both children were begging for attention.  Nap time - "Me Time" - was over.  Already.  Before I had a chance to indulge in some sugar and fiction.  I felt that irony then, and find it more amusing now.  It's not even a great picture.

That was nearly two months ago.

Now, with a two month old and an almost two year old, I feel like I'm constantly CONSTANTLY constantly running.  Running behind Daphne trying to grab the remote from her before she screws up all our settings (which has happened twice, and takes almost an hour to reconfigure).  Running over to Charles in his bouncy seat, who has had an enormous diaper blow out that has - impressively - gotten into his hair (that happened this morning, no lie).  Running to take a sock from Bilbo before he bolts under the bed to rip it to shreds (happens all the time, and frankly I've quite given up on chasing him on this one).

I truly think this season of my life is a perpetual enactment of the chicken-fox-grain puzzle.  You know the one.  I think we learned it in 7th grade math class.  You have to get all three items across the river in one small boat without the chicken being eaten by the fox, or the grain being eaten by the chicken.  Naturally, you can't take them all over at once, so you've gotta make a few well-planned trips.  That's my life.  Keeping Daph away from the baby.  Keeping Bilbo from growling at Daphne near his food.  Keeping everyone occupied and relatively content while I manage to get just one thing done off my list for the day.  It's a puzzle.  It's like a really complex and exhausting riddle.  That lasts all day, and never ever ends.

So, when I finally get a chance to sit down and have a moment (just a moment!) to myself when both of the children are napping, and Bilbo is quietly laying at my feet... why on earth would I waste those minutes taking a picture of what I'd like to be enjoying?

baby triv

Baby Trivits!

Due Nov 18!

(Lord willing!)

As you may or may not have seen or heard, Kevin and I are expecting!  We are incredibly excited and are absolutely overjoyed/overwhelmed that God would bless and trust us with this enormous responsibility.  

I realize a blog post is neither necessary nor consequential to many/most/all of you... but I wanted to give a heads up as to what you can expect from me, an expectant mother (oh, wow).  Or maybe, rather, what you can not expect.

Please do not expect me to post:

Tummy pictures... (monthly, or ever - yuck! I'm doing you a favor.)

Ultrasound pictures... (although I know my mom already posted one... I'll let that one slide... haha)

Any gratuitous statuses about cravings, morning sickness, and babies babies babies... (one of my goals for this year was to cut down on "public" complaining/whining, and I know no one cares that all I really want to eat is apple sauce and oatmeal.)

Don't get me wrong, I realize that it is good and healthy and appropriate and exciting to gush your newfound joy over being pregnant and the thought of having a child in the near future.  But seeing friend after pregnant friend plastering their news (and, may I say, rather personal and private business) all over facebook while until very recently, Kevin and I had struggled with the fact that we - seemingly - were not able to have a baby... it's actually rather hurtful.  I know I still have plenty of friends in that stage (waiting to conceive), and those who are struggling through/with infertility.  I want to be so very, very sensitive to that.  

It's ironic that two weeks ago, I was in the process of writing a blog about our inability to conceive, addressing those of you who rather indiscreetly and carelessly (however unintentionally) "gloat" over your blessed news... and the day after, I discovered I was pregnant.  So, while that blog will not be posted, I hope that the spirit of it is clearly established.

Basically, I don't want to be an annoying pregnant girl who rubs it in the faces of all I'm friends with.  I don't want to clog up a newsfeed.  I don't want to cause anyone to despair because I'm in a different situation than they are. 

But, all that being said, PLEASE:  Congratulate us!  Pray for us!  Rejoice with us!  But... do it in person.  Or send me a text or email or handwritten card!  Let's be more personal with all this personal stuff.  

Soli Deo Gloria!

2013 Goals and Resolutions

Oh Calvin.  You get me.

But seriously, I have such a hard time with goals.  Meeting goals, that is.  Making them is fairly easy.  I get distracted.  I unprioritize and reprioritize.  I get lazy.  I don't wanna read x amount of books, or write x amount of sonnets.  Let's see how this year goes, then, when I make goals that are less easily measured.

1. Talk on the phone more, and in doing so, defeat my fear of the thing.
2. Stop saying the word "annoying", and in doing so, be less easily annoyed.  (It's good in theory.)
3. Do not complain, whine, or gossip.  Ever.  (Except maybe to Kevin.  That's basically like talking to myself.)
4. Finish all the books I left half-done in 2012.  There are quite a few of 'em.
5. Read more fiction.
6. Read more classics.
7. Play and teach piano.  (Seriously.  This one is happening, and I'm a bit nervous about it!)
8. Take voice lessons again.  (Yikes!  If I can find the time for it, I wanna make this one happen!)
9. Move into a house!
10. Be a better wife and friend.
11. Support and encourage Kevin.  (Sometimes I forget he has to verbally process and dream.)
12. Write more letters.
13. Spend more structured time praying and in the Scriptures.
14. Be more assertive.
15. Stand up straighter.
16. Be more active.
17. Cook more, and learn to bake.
18. Be spontaneous.
19. Watch less TV.
20. Don't take short-cuts out of laziness.

abiding at advent

'Tis the season.  

Advent.

The coming of our Lord.

The great miracle of Incarnation.

The monumental shift of history.

And how do we celebrate?

By waiting.

Hoping.

Preparing.

We look forward in anticipation, certainly,

but these actions are hardly exciting - or even active, for that matter.

Not what you might expect for an event so huge we're still talking about it millennia after the fact.

Celebration, this season, is mere attitude, perspective, or inward reflection and preparation?

And yet, no amount of active striving will make Christmas come any sooner.

I feel this way sometimes.  

No, rather often.

That my life is just a waiting game.

It's all about to change, 

truly, everything is about to change.

The coming year will hold great things.

But I'm in-between.

I'm here, the important and monumental life-changing-points are out there.

Out there, beyond my control.

I can use no 'exciting' or 'active' verbs to get myself closer.

No striving will make it happen sooner.

It's a waiting game.

Hoping.

Preparing.

But what if this next big thing is just like the last big thing?

I reach it (finally), 

adjust, get comfortable with the change, 

and then I'm in-between again.

It's like the slight let-down after Christmas. 

All the presents are unwrapped, and there are no more surprises.

Ah, well - 365 days till next Christmas.

Maybe what I'm trying to process is the idea that maybe Advent is trying to teach me something else.

A different lesson altogether than just waiting, hoping and preparing.

Maybe the lesson I'm learning is to abide.

That because of (and in spite of) my hopes, even when the end is in sight,

it is possible to live in a state of perpetual contentment, and active progress.

This is my own type of preparation.  

Continuing, progressing through time in a particular condition or attitude.

At this moment, 

I could very easily launch into a trite tirade on how we should live as if every day is Christmas.  

That's not what I want, though, really.

I can't live every moment as if it's a mountain-top experience, 

a monumental change in history.

How exhausting.

I just want to be ready for those moments, 

while still loving and living the life that I have.

Make the most of the in-betweens.

The periods of waiting.

Celebrate Advent.

6 month check up on 2012 goals

1) Learn German.  Ehh.  This one is on hold for the time being.  Faith and I are learning Koine Greek, instead! Rosetta Stone's too danged expensive!


2) Read through the complete works of Shakespeare.  Gonna work on this one this summer!  AKA soon.


3) Go hiking/camping on a mountain with Kevin.  Also a summer goal.  Probably going to count this as completed when Collette & Pete come out and visit (which we so very much hope they will do!)


4) See sunrise on said mountain.  See above.


5) Use the paint supplies I have acquired.  Well, I've only got blank canvases.  No paint.  So...


6) Use the Pilates DVD and mat I bought myself for Christmas.  For two weeks, I was pretty faithful with this, but things got busy & I got lazy.  Will have to pick it up again.  Oy.


7)  Write a letter to a friend a week.  With this, I've done okay.  I wouldn't say it's been one per week, but at least three a month!


8) Journal weekly.  Yessah!


9)  Read through the collected works of Milton.  Erhm... after Shakespeare.  Promise.


10) Read through the collected works of Lewis.  Have read The Great Divorce, and am half done with The Four Loves.  For my thoughts on these, see my other blog! 


11) Read through The Making of a Sonnet, and attempt one a month.  Nope.  Haven't been feeling it.  But might be a good fall-winter activity.  Will see.


12) Work harder than absolutely necessary.  I think I've got this one.  But, to be continued.


13) Develop relationships with the girls in the youth group.  Yes!  So far so good!  Also, to be continued!


14) Sing out.  Yes... but I need to be reminded of this kinda often.


15) Develop better posture.  Oy.  I need to see a chiropractor.


16) Complete the application process and become a certified teacher in the state of Colorado.  Yes!  Finished the application, just waiting to hear!


17)  Learn more about pre-K education.  Finished ECE101, just begun Guidance Strategies!


18) Collect and read as many of my childhood-favorite books as I possibly can!  Doing okay with this one, too - read The Prisoner of Zenda, and recently acquired the Roll of Thunder series!

How are YOU doing on your 2012 goals?? 

As you can see, I've got a lot of work to do..........

but 9/18 seems to be right on track!

today i woke up and decided not to be afraid

Today, I woke up
 and decided not to be afraid.

I looked myself in the mirror and said,
"Dear, what shall you accomplish today?"

My reflection spoke back, smiling,
"What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?"

I fled the flat,
skipped down the stairs, hands not holding the rail,
and beamed into the sunshine.

The world did not bow to me,
but I was filled
with purpose,
with joy,
and with an unquenchable desire to be.

reflections upon a mattress

A Learning Experience.

_

Made me feel like a fish out of water.

24 songs in two months?

More hours spent practicing than in my senior year of high school.

Awful/awkward time signatures. (5/4??!!)

Awful/awkward key signatures. (G♭??!!)

Always tired; no life.

Having to get over my pride.

Threats of carpal tunnel.

Having to be okay with only playing melody or RH in many songs.

Not getting to work with the students as much as I'd've liked.

Living on Spaghetti O's and frozen pizza.  Seriously.

+

Challenged me to push the limits of my ability.

Pressured me to excel.

Reintroduced me to my second love, piano.

Reminded me of the thrill of performing.

Let me contribute to theatre, albeit in the background.

Acquainted me with some awesome individuals and educators from the community.

Expanded my social circle.

Caused me to think and act outside myself, and my box. 

Networking/foot-in-the-door.

Reminded me that I do love teaching, and love teaching secondary ed.

Taught me to count measures.

Taught me 5/4 time.

Taught me glissandi.

Taught me to think of piano as a part of a whole.

Taught me to listen.

to do: read Gen-Rev

Kevin and I have begun reading through the Bible again!  Instead of going book-by-book as per usual, we'll be going through it chronologically.  To see/steal/use/judge the plan we'll be following, click here!

being light

At one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. 

Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in 

all that is good and right and true)

and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 

making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

Ephesians 5:8-10, 15-16

Remember this post? It is in the same spirit that I reflect on my attitudes and behavior now, just a few weeks later.  I think it's right and good to have checkpoints for yourself.  Otherwise, how can progress be made?

Just as I proactively guard what I expose myself to (whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, etc), and how that affects my thought-life, I've got to monitor what my outward actions - my "walk" - looks like.  How will anyone know that I am in the light if the only light that I let affect me is all in my head?  It's got to manifest itself outwardly!  Others should be able to see a difference!

And lately, I fear that has not been the case.

I fear that I love too much about my life to really let God be God. That (mis)placement messes everything up.  If I don't let God have His place of sovereignty - of authority - in my life, I put myself and my desires in His place.  Actions follow mindset.  I do not, therefore, obey God, but myself and what I want and think is best for my life (read: selfishness, sinfulness, pride).  And how can that but manifest itself in my behavior?  I do really well sometimes, in submitting to God's will, but lately I haven't been satisfied in that.  I want more.  It doesn't really matter more of what, exactly... but my state of discontentedness is not consistent with a lifestyle of light.  

One of my favorite psalms of David (one that I go back to time and time again for conviction, for comfort, for wisdom, and for encouragement) is Psalm 16.  Hear what he has to say about this.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. 

I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord;

I have no good apart from you."

The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;

you hold my lot.

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:1-2, 5-6, 11

Do I believe that?

Do I truly believe that He is the only good I have?  Do I believe that He is enough?  That He is the way to peace and joy?  That pleasure, even, is found only in Him and the things that He gives?  That He has shown me the path that I must walk, and has made me capable of walking that way?  

Along with guarding myself from the worldview portrayed by the media, I have to choose to choose God above myself and what I naturally desire, what I think will bring me satisfaction and pleasure.  

I must "set the LORD always before me; 

[and] because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken!" 

Psalm 16:8

Then, and only then, can I live a life apart.  Only then can people see my life, my walk, my attitudes and behavior and say that I am and child of light.  I love the quote attributed to Ghandi: Be the change you wish to see in the world.  Only then, can I be that change.  Left to my own devices, I am nothing if not incapable.

oh life life life

It's been a while since I've blogged about... anything, really.  Besides just my records of the hilarious and/or insightful things my kids say at the preschool.  So.  Here's why.

I'm not sure exactly why I do this to myself.  I guess I just figure that I have "all the time in the world" now that I'm out of college, and living "real life".  Au contraire!  If I thought I was busy then - a 20-credit undergrad student, working at 20 hour/week job, trying to have some semblance of a social life - what am I doing to myself NOW?  Let me give you the run-down of what my "semester" looks like this year:

- Working full-time at Starbucks.
- Working part-time at Evergreen Academy.
- Being a housewife (seriously - I'm making a career out of doing laundry, dishes, cooking, etc) and loving on my husband, keeping that relationship real.
- Being an obedient servant of God (all that that entails, some listed below, some just having to do with my personal spiritual life... this is a relationship that demands up-keep, as well!)
- Being a friend and mentor (I have more of a social life now than I ever did in college - what?!)
- Singing and playing piano for Saturday evening services at our church.
- Supporting Kevin and the youth group by attending Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings (mostly regularly).
- Taking an online course at Red Rocks (it's a 101, but still is work).
- Working on learning 15 new songs to be the piano accompanist for the spring musical at the local high school (boy, am I rusty - but excited for the challenge and the chance to get involved with the youth!)
- Trying to finish this 700 pg book... just to be DONE with it already!
- And now because Kev and I have decided that what I need is more peer-fellowship - I'm joining a Bible study with a friend and some other ladies down the mountain.

This is my life, guys.  I love it.  I love what I do, my friends, my life.  Truly.  But I feel like I'm killing myself sometimes.  Like, I never have time to breathe.  I have days off, obviously, but those days are taken up with all the other busyness I have to "get done".  It's so easy for me to get overwhelmed and stressed and take it out on people closest to me (i.e: Kevin).  Not good!

So, here are some things I need to be constantly reminding myself.

These are the things I know:
- This is a 101 course.  I can and will get a decent grade, basically despite my best efforts to the contrary.
- I am good at playing piano, and after I acquaint myself with the songs a bit more, I'll be fine.
- I cannot take out my stress on Kevin.
- Adarae is coming to visit me in five days and will make everything better! (Plus, days off work!)
- God is faithful, and I am able to please Him by my obedience in the little things as well as the big things.
- I cannot always please everyone - so I can't beat myself up for failing in the little things, asking forgiveness, etc.  I cannot let my fear of letting others down affect my day-to-day.
- I can love people in little ways that make a big difference.
- I can organize and prioritize: Do what matters most first.

Goals for 2012

Is it that time already?  

Here are the things I'd like to accomplish in 2012.
  

Some of them were not quite finished (or started...shhh) in 2011, so they've rolled over onto this list.  I also figure that 18 is much more manageable than 30.  

At 6 mos. I'll check back and let you know how I'm doing!

1) Learn German (my friend Faith and I have a pact to learn it together - hopefully this coming summer!)

2) Read through the complete works of Shakespeare.

3) Go hiking/camping on a mountain with Kevin.

4) See sunrise on said mountain.

5) Use the paint supplies I have acquired.

6) Use the Pilates DVD and mat I bought myself for Christmas.

7) Write a letter to a friend a week.

8) Journal weekly.

9) Read through the collected works of Milton.

10) Read through the collected works of Lewis.

11) Read through The Making of a Sonnet, and attempt one a month.

12) Work harder than absolutely necessary.

13) Develop relationships with the girls in the youth group at church.

14) Sing out.

15) Develop better posture.
16) Finish the application process and become a certified teacher in the state of Colorado.
17) Learn more about pre-K education.
18) Collect and read as many of my childhood-favorite books as I possibly can!

I think that's a decent enough list.  We'll see how this goes!  What are YOU going to do with 2012?

al fine: goals for 2011

2011 is over.  Officially.  Care to see how I did on my goals for this year?

1) journal weekly (in my journal, not my blog)
2) teach like I mean it—student teaching was rough, but I can say with confidence that I started each day as if it were on purpose! And now that I'm working at Evergreen Academy, many more opportunities!!
3) graduate PBU (get certified, succeed as a teacher, all that jazz)
4) see an obscene number of friends get married!—and still so many coming up!
5) move away (pref. to Colorado!)--we're here!!  
6) twice a month, write a letter to a different dear (if distant) friend—yes!  I've gotten better at this one since the half-way mark!  I love love writing (and receiving!) letters of encouragement! 
7) get a piano—an electric piano counts.  I guess.
8) learn 5 new pieces by Chopin—I've *begun* learning two.  Shoot, I'll work on this one!
9) read (and appreciate!) a Russian novel--I read Crime and Punishment this summer.  "Read"-check.  "Appreciate"-...I'll let you know.
10) finish reading the works of Shakespeare in its entirety!--Will have to finish next year....
11) write something worth reading--this is up for debate.  
12) go hiking & camping with Kevin on a mountain--hiking, yes.  Camping, no.  
13) see sunset and sunrise on said mountain
14) learn to knit and/or crochet
15) research Trivits heritage
16) learn German… begin learning German--I downloaded a podcast that was supposed to teach you German.  I didn't make it far, but I made an effort!

17) learn to cook - not really Julie & Julia style, but kinda
18) give people the benefit of the doubt, every time
19) learn and play a number of different card games
20) acquire painting supplies, use said supplies

21) learn to love Kevin more than I love myself; support him; dream with him (aka be an awesome wife!)—definite improvements!

22) learn when and how to be a follower rather than a leader (and vice versa)—definite improvements!
23) read through the Bible again—Yes!  In just about six months!
24) have Kevin teach me Greek—in progress!
25) sing somewhere--every Saturday night, I get to help lead worship at my church!
26) grow a garden (even an herb garden, come on!)
27) learn to exercise (& do it regularly!)--Next year.
28) remember to not be too serious

29) study up on world religions
30) …get a new and decent job.


22/30... is a solid C.  

Sixteen

HAPPY DECEMBER 16!

Tell me these cards aren't the cutest things you've seen this holiday season...

I'm thankful for notes of encouragement.  One of my goals for this year was to stay in touch with friends (near & far!) via post.  I've been able to keep that up with at least two of my dear friends since moving out here to CO.  And today - joy of joys! - I received one such note from this precious soul.  I cannot express how much I a) enjoy getting mail, b) delight in my friend's beautiful mind, and c) need to hear the things she has to say.  I miss her, and treasure the little taste of what we had in honest prayer and conversation on the bottom bunk in our room last year.  I love being loved, and loved well.

Do yourself a favor and send someone a card this Christmas.  Not just a sign-your-name-at-the-bottom-of-a-cliche-Christmas-message type of card.  A personal one.  Encourage someone.  Do it.

abraham and sarah

Lately, I've been struck with the realization that Kevin and I are called to be Abraham and Sarah.  Let me explain.

Earlier this year, not long after we got married, we knew we were meant to move across the country from Philly, PA to the Denver area, Colorado.  Away from everything: PBU and DE life, friends, family... every support system I had known for the past four years, and Kevin... his whole life.

Kevin felt a call to study Scripture and ministry at Denver Seminary.  We searched for jobs and apartments.  We looked and prayed for plans to fall into place.  Ultimately, though, we knew that regardless of our "plans" working out via internet searches, phone calls and emails, Kevin and I would be moving.  It came to the point (before Kevin received the joyous letter from Denver Sem) that we felt we needed to move whether or not he was accepted for the fall semester.  Such was the feeling - the call - that we both had toward our future in Colorado.

So, a week after graduating from Philadelphia Biblical, Kev and I packed up our box of an apartment, loaded all of our earthly possessions into a moving van, and drove 30+ hours west.  Jobs were uncertain, though Kevin had an "in" from his previous job on the east coast.  We still had no idea what our apartment really looked like, other than the pictures we had seen online - which we hoped were not fabricated or dishonest.

We arrived at Idaho Springs, saw our [gorgeous!] apartment, applied for jobs, found a church, made some friends, and settled down with life.  Truly.  That's about how fast it all happened, too.

It has just been incredible to see the way that the Lord has seen fit to bless us.  He called us out in faith, and now He delights in rewarding us for our obedience.  It is not a huge stretch to compare Colorado to the Promised Land... but I think there's truth in the analogy that God let us know He had/has enormous and amazing things in store for us, calling us to leave our comfortable support systems and the life that we had known to pursue what He had - whatever that might be - out in the wild blue yonder of the Rockies.

I see Kevin as an Abraham figure, anyway.  I see him as one appointed by God to be His ambassador in a foreign, unfamiliar land.  I think God sees him that way, too.  Since we've settled here, Kevin's heart is for seminary and for further education in Biblical studies... but his desire is for practical ministry in the local church.  That much is clear.  We arrived at FBCE at the moment the associate pastor was looking for an intern - a role he asked Kevin to fulfill maybe three weeks after we had begun attending the church.  Once in that position, and after a summer of awesome ministry with the youth group and the rest of the church body, the associate pastor has received and answered a call to lead a church in Kentucky.  Kevin is in prime position to assume several of those responsibilities.

Don't you see?  It's all just a little too perfect.  Too perfect to be coincidence, anyway.  Of course, this is how we see God work.  I see Him blessing our obedience in moving out here, and our continued obedience in submitting our will to His in His plan for our life.

I see myself as Sarah.  I see myself as one appointed to stand next to my Abraham in support.  Not questioning his leadership, but faithfully serving next to him.  I also put my trust in the Lord that He will be faithful in providing us with the family that we so desire.  (And, any of you who know me well understand my Sarah- (or Hannah-) like desire for children, though Kevin and I are still young.) But, in His timing.

This is one of the numerous reasons why I love the Old Testament narratives of God's people.  I love seeing the way God works, how people respond to Him, and how He blesses.  How can we but rejoice in His word?  How can we but obey and heed His call?  How can we but trust in Him?

I humbly ask for your prayers as we continue to settle into life here.  I ask that especially through this holiday season we will be the image-bearers of Christ and ambassadors of the Lord in a dark and unbelieving world.

Genesis 18:19

"For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household 

after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice, 

so that the LORD may bring to Abraham what he has promised him."

Psalm 37: 3-6

Trust in the LORD, and do good;

dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the LORD,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD;

trust in him, and he will act.

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,

and your justice as the noonday.

update on my goals for twenty-eleven

I began this list in late January.  In June, I gave a six-month update.  Now, in the middle of November, I want to see how much more I've gotta focus and put the pedal to the medal for the next month and a half.    I think I did pretty well!  Care to see?  How are you doing on YOUR New Years' Resolutions?  Oh yeah, remember those?  :)

1) journal weekly (in my journal, not my blog)
2) teach like I mean it—student teaching was rough, but I can say with confidence that I started each day as if it were on purpose!
3) graduate PBU (get certified, succeed as a teacher, all that jazz)
4) see an obscene number of friends get married!—and still so many coming up!
5) move away (pref. to Colorado!)--we're here!!  
6) twice a month, write a letter to a different dear (if distant) friend—yes!  I've gotten better at this one since the half-way mark!  I love love writing (and receiving!) letters of encouragement! 
7) get a piano—an electric piano counts.  I guess.
8) learn 5 new pieces by Chopin—I've *begun* learning two.  Shoot, I'll work on this one!
9) read (and appreciate!) a Russian novel--I read Crime and Punishment this summer.  "Read"-check.  "Appreciate"-...I'll let you know.
10) finish reading the works of Shakespeare in its entirety!--my next project after reading through the NT.
11) write something worth reading--this is up for debate.  
12) go hiking & camping with Kevin on a mountain--hiking, yes.  Camping, no.  
13) see sunset and sunrise on said mountain
14) learn to knit and/or crochet
15) research Trivits heritage
16) learn German… begin learning German

17) learn to cook - not really Julie & Julia style, but kinda
18) give people the benefit of the doubt, every time
19) learn and play a number of different card games
20) acquire painting supplies, use said supplies

21) learn to love Kevin more than I love myself; support him; dream with him (aka be an awesome wife!)—definite improvements!

22) learn when and how to be a follower rather than a leader (and vice versa)—definite improvements!
23) read through the Bible again—in progress!
24) have Kevin teach me Greek—in progress!
25) sing somewhere--every Saturday night, I get to help lead worship at my church!
26) grow a garden (even an herb garden, come on!)
27) learn to exercise (& do it regularly!)
28) remember to not be too serious

29) study up on world religions
30) …get a new and decent job.

21/30!!  Not too shabby... and a definitely improvement from June's 13/30.  Now you know what I'll be up to for the next 1.5 mos till December 31!  

Crime and Punishment

Yep, the title pretty much sums up my experience with Dostoevsky's iconic novel.

I finished reading it just the other night... finally... after two months of being within seventy pages of finishing, I mustered up the attention and interest necessary to learn to what end Raskolnikov comes.  I take some relief in the knowledge that Thomas Hardy never finished, and RL Stevenson compared C&P to a disease.  Because that's mostly how I feel.

The afterword cleared up quite a bit for me - its significance as a progressive piece of literature (using a third person, omniscient voice to narrate) as well as the symbolism for sin and redemption, throughout.  It is a beautiful story... but about 500 pages too long.

As to my goal for this year: I've read a Russian novel.  As to the second half of that goal - appreciating a Russian novel - I'll... let you know.  I feel a bit war-torn.  Exhausted.  I don't care about Raskolnikov.  Great that he found redemption in Sofia.  But I don't believe him.  My favorite character offed himself: Svidrigailov.  He was the only interesting one.

Overall, I see its importance; I see some humor; I see some insight into human nature and the grace extended us; but, ultimately, I was not compelled.

----To see some books that I have lovvveeedddd (or didn't love) reading this year, check out my page, 23 Books!

the things i've seen

I love theatre.

Well, I guess it'd be more accurate to say that I love stories.  And I love music.  And I love adrenaline rushes.  Musical theatre takes these three items, mixes in some choreography, sets, bright and colorful lights.  The result is dazzling:  the audience is actually able to not only enjoy the display of talent and narrative, but it's almost impossible not to be swept into the story itself -- drama sucks a viewer in and doesn't let go.

Me, I'm a groundling.  And goodness, I'm more than pleased to be spat upon by the geniuses performing above me.

Last night, Kevin and I got to experience the timeless story of Les Miserables at Denver's Buell Theatre.  I miss this.  Yes, I miss performing, but I miss watching the stories, the talent, having my ears thrilled by the highs and the lows of a talented tenor or two.

Here's the list of shows I've seen.  Directly following is the list of shows that I'm dying to see.  Give me your feedback.  Any suggestions?  Any comments?  Have you seen any of these shows, too?  Let me know!


Fiddler on the Roof (2001) - with Topol!
--Miller Auditorium, Kalamazoo, MI

The Scarlet Pimpernel (2002)
--DeVos Hall, GR, MI

Porgy and Bess (2004)
--DeVos Hall, GR, MI

Wicked (2005)
--Princess of Wales Theatre, Toronto, Canada

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat! (2006)
--Miller Auditorium, Kalamazoo, MI

Les Miserables (2006)
--DeVos Hall, GR, MI

Spamalot (2006)

--Shubert Theatre, NYC

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (2006)

--Imperial Theatre, NYC

The Tony Awards (2006) - so many songs, so many shows, all in one place at one time!

--Radio City Music Hall, NYC

Phantom of the Opera (2006)
--Majestic Theatre, NYC

Wicked (2007) - Front row, twice in one day.  The lottery is a glorious thing!
--Oriental Theatre, Chicago, IL

Chicago (2007)
--Miller Auditorium, Kalamazoo, MI

Les Miserables (2011)
--Buell Theatre, Denver, CO


DYING TO SEE:

The Lion King -- just purchased our tickets to this one at Denver's Buell Theatre for Nov. 11!!!
Legally Blonde
Beauty and the Beast
Catch Me If You Can
Wicked, again
Spamalot, again
Book of Mormon
Big Fish (rumored to begin production)
And... anything starring Sutton Foster

update: goals of 2011

I wrote out this list at the beginning of 2011, and it is now a full six months since then. Care to see how I’ve done in meeting my goals? Read on! Emboldened are those items I’ve been faithful to complete.

1) journal weekly (in my journal, not my blog)
2) teach like I mean it—student teaching was rough, but I can say with confidence that I started each day as if it were on purpose!
3) graduate PBU (get certified, succeed as a teacher, all that jazz)
4) see an obscene number of friends get married!—and still so many coming up!
5) move away (pref. to Colorado!)
6) twice a month, write a letter to a different dear (if distant) friend—sadly, I’m not succeeding at this. On Monday, my notecards and stamps will arrive with the rest of our stuff!
7) get a piano—still in the works. :/
8) learn 5 new pieces by Chopin—dependent on #7. :/
9) read (and appreciate!) a Russian novel
10) finish reading the works of Shakespeare in its entirety!
11) write something worth reading
12) go hiking & camping with Kevin on a mountain
13) see sunset and sunrise on said mountain
14) learn to knit and/or crochet
15) research Trivits heritage
16) learn German… begin learning German

17) learn to cook - not really Julie & Julia style, but kinda
18) give people the benefit of the doubt, every time—definite improvements!
19) learn and play a number of different card games
20) acquire painting supplies, use said supplies

21) learn to love Kevin more than I love myself; support him; dream with him (aka be an awesome wife!)—definite improvements!

22) learn when and how to be a follower rather than a leader (and vice versa)—definite improvements!
23) read through the Bible again—in progress!
24) have Kevin teach me Greek—in progress!
25) sing somewhere 
26) grow a garden (even an herb garden, come on!)
27) learn to exercise (& do it regularly!)
28) remember to not be too serious

29) study up on world religions
30) …get a new and decent job.

13/30 is pretty dang close to half! Here’s to finishing the list by my anniversary! :)
How are you doing on your New Year’s resolutions?