Q 9:27

Last night's class started out a little differently: one of Dr Blomberg's former students led us through a synoptic reading of the story of blind Bartimaeus.  The rest of the class was [fairly] typical.

-How structure emphasizes theology

-Chiastic structure (Dr Master, we did you proud!)

-Parables

-Outlines of Luke and John

[To the former student, Stu, who taught the first thirty minutes]

"Get it all on record [as he clipped a digital recorder to Stu's shirt], then we can dissect you later."

"For those of you who have a Synopsis of the Gospels, you can do this as much as you want!"

[Colors on the screen]

"Notice how often it goes from black to green.  If that's what those colors are supposed to be... I'm never quite sure, if you have something... lime-ish."

"In my opinion, which is hardly typical of any segment of people..."

"If you call someone, 'You of little faith!', it is by no means a compliment.  But... they at least have some!"

[Mark 8:31 as the turning point of the book]

"Even after Peter's spectacular acknowledgement of who Jesus is, he still didn't get it!"

"Talk about having one's cake and eating it too... rolling around in my head."

(Yeah, we didn't get it either...)

"That parallel seems to resolve, unless it's okay to flip white and yellow."

"Try it on for size, see what you think.  Someday we'll meet the evangelist who'll tell us all our outlines were out to lunch.  We'll see.  As Mary goes out to lunch... haha."

(A student had gotten up to leave the classroom...)

"Matthew's Gospel is paradoxically trying to win Jewish people to faith by recording the conflict between Christian and Jewish teachers, competing for the right to say, 'We are the true legacy of Israel.'"

[According to the three parables that 'detail' Christ's return in Matthew 24-25]

"Either Christ will return unexpectedly - based on the householders and the thief - or He'll return too early - based on the faithless servant who was surprised when His master showed up - or He'll return too late - according to the parable of the ten virgins!  I think that covers all logical options!  What was Harold Camping thinking?  If this proves we can't know, I don't know how to prove it!"

"The story of Jesus healing the paralytic causes a controversy.  'Who can forgive sins but God alone?'  Haha... bingo!"

[Looking at the powerpoint slide]

"Well... you ready for some fireworks?"

"...Which is fascinating for a source critic, which... if you're not a source critic, not much of this is fascinating..."

"So, Luke has got this thing about geography.  Is it pathological?  I'll leave that to the counseling majors."

"What is a chiasm?  Sounds... racy."

[He really does struggle with the new technology]

"I could have... eraser.  Go away!  Maybe if I change colors, it'll go away."

"Let's be a large small group.  That's not oxymoronic."

"Use either your real Bible or synopsis.  If you've been waiting to use your iPod Bible, go for it!"

"I never was very good at charades."

"The only time I've heard [John 12:20-] taught is if they're forced into it... if they're going through the whole gospel."

"The Triumphal Entry... the Palm Sunday Spectacular!"

"Your neighbor comes over to your house and says, 'Ashley!  Tell me about Jesus!' ...All three of you can relate."

"'The hour has come for the Son of Man to enter into His glory...' Ahh, I wish I had a bass voice."

"I have no proof Andrew and Philip ever said this, but... 'Jesus, we love your little parables.  But... did you hear what we said?  There are some Gentiles here to see you!'"

[Referring to a diagram on the board]

"Then there was that strange robotic... chart.  Two-headed monster?  I don't know..."

"Therefore the saying spread between the sistern and the brethren... oh well."

(For the record, I laughed.)

"If this doesn't seem odd to you, you've been in church too long."

"And by believing, you may have life in His Name... fade to black."

"In church, we do not say 'fade to black', we say, 'In Jesus' Name, amen!'  And in the low church, we say, 'You are dismissed.'"

"By this time, we're nearing the 90s... not the ones you lived through, the 1990s.  Just the 90s."

"Remember, for Gnostics, you can't ever have God in bod."

"What does this do to inspiration?  Nothing.  It just means He inspired more than one person!"

"It's 9 o'clock, you'll believe anything by now."

[Calling on students with questions, but some students didn't have their hands raised at all]

"I keep seeing hands doing things... not doing real things."

"We know our Bible too well... we don't ask the questions we ought to be!"

"It would be good to know not just for an exam... for life!"

"I am going to go over a few of them because I find them immensely fascinating, and I get to decide what we do!"

"I know so little French, I have to put it in when I do!"

"You can look it up at your leisure... ie: next summer."

[The accusers of Jesus at Caiaphas' house]

"They couldn't ever get their accusation right until they got their false act right!"

Crime and Punishment

Yep, the title pretty much sums up my experience with Dostoevsky's iconic novel.

I finished reading it just the other night... finally... after two months of being within seventy pages of finishing, I mustered up the attention and interest necessary to learn to what end Raskolnikov comes.  I take some relief in the knowledge that Thomas Hardy never finished, and RL Stevenson compared C&P to a disease.  Because that's mostly how I feel.

The afterword cleared up quite a bit for me - its significance as a progressive piece of literature (using a third person, omniscient voice to narrate) as well as the symbolism for sin and redemption, throughout.  It is a beautiful story... but about 500 pages too long.

As to my goal for this year: I've read a Russian novel.  As to the second half of that goal - appreciating a Russian novel - I'll... let you know.  I feel a bit war-torn.  Exhausted.  I don't care about Raskolnikov.  Great that he found redemption in Sofia.  But I don't believe him.  My favorite character offed himself: Svidrigailov.  He was the only interesting one.

Overall, I see its importance; I see some humor; I see some insight into human nature and the grace extended us; but, ultimately, I was not compelled.

----To see some books that I have lovvveeedddd (or didn't love) reading this year, check out my page, 23 Books!

Q 9:20

Gospels and Acts - Class Four - "Literary Criticism: Mark and Matthew"
-Guidelines for research paper
-Analysis of John 3 and 4: Conversations with a Pharisee and a Samaritan woman
-Group analysis of Mark and Matthew
-Analysis of the account of Jesus walking on water


[Reading through the outline for the research paper]
"By 'arousing interest', I don't mean 'sensational' - something you'd read in a tabloid in the check out line at a King Soopers."

[Written on the board: IBS to stand for International Bible Society]
"It's not meant to be an autobiographical confession... IBS."
(He had to slow that one down for us, too.)

"You remember the < or = sign from high school math, I hope..."

"As for a conclusion... have one."

"For application, get into your time machine."

"Know how to use an apostrophe.  The universal misuse of it is... discouraging.  [Writes on the board: Its, It's, Jesus', Shepherd's - complete with explanations] It's not hard!  So do it right!"

"When the clock struck twelve, Michael J Fox did something... You don't have to force a transition.  Just get into your time machine."

[On Scripture as literature]
"It's high drama!"

[Reading aloud the conversation between Jesus and Nicodemus in John 3 - parenthetical between vv. 15 and 16]
"And now to the verse that you all knew out of context..."

"And since you always wondered what Nicodemus looked like, here's one artist's rendering... with a full moon."

"Of all the Gospels, here are two examples of Jesus' conversations with individuals.  Unless you count His interview with Pilate... if He hadn't been silent."

"With apologies to an old Clint Eastwood movie, their conversation takes place at high noon."

"Then there's this wonderful overstatement: 'Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet.'  After He's just recounted her entire marital and non-marital history!"

"Jesus is bringing the great reversal - tearing down rulers from their thrones and lifting up the humble (a la the Magnificat)."

"The floor is yours... but you knew that.  Your feet are on it!"

[John 4 - with the Samaritan woman]
"Which is interesting... by the end of the story, He still hasn't gotten His drink.  It starts off very promising..."

"That was the old King James 'Y-E-A', not the 'Y-A-Y' yay!"
(You had to see it.  But you can imagine.  It was funny.)

"If you want a break, do something physical: move, box, stand, walk..."

"Whatever the uncomfortable features of these chairs, they do swivel."

"Out of that wonderfully rich chapter six, which is beneficial for... somebody..."

"Why is that?  Do you have a martyr complex?"

[Student mentions that Mark seems to slow down time toward the end of his book]
"It's not quite as slow as 24... like that episode when it takes 15 minutes for them to figure out how to dismantle a bomb set to go off in two minutes?"

[Who is Mark?]
"Companion of Peter, best known for deserting him... later to be reconciled."

"You all know Diogenes Laertius... household name, I know."

"How they died says something about who they are!  It's about how you die that counts, not about how you lived.  Where do you stand before the LORD?"

[Passage in Mark and Matthew where Jesus walks on water]
"I'm sorry the lab isn't working... we won't be replicating it."

"You haven't read about John yet, you can just ignore that column."

[Written on the board]
"Peter's partial water walking."

"Does Matthew include the bit about Peter to exalt him, or... not to?"

[Trying to write on the computer screen...]
"That's a... real pen."

"Whether I was misled by a Sunday school teacher, or by my own imagination, I always thought Jesus was appealing to His divinity... was tired after a long day, took a short cut across the lake, and -shoot!- they caught Him!"

[Student: "Could you repeat what you just said?"]
"I could say it... differently!"

[How to respond when faced with the Divine]
"You pros...trate yourself.  Just want to leave out the 'r'."

"And then we have to throw Luke and John into the mix... but that's next week!

i want to write

i want to write poetry
but
all i can say has already been said
or is unremarkable
or contrived
song lyric variations
eloquent and sad
trite and forced.
have i no original thoughts?
have i words of my own?
[cliche cliche]

and yet
something wells up within
my soul
boils and spits:
hisses like a teapot upon a red-hot front burner.
but
there's something stuck in the spout
obstruction
becomes more firmly lodged
the hotter the flame
the steam
its pressure.
let the steam out - let it hiss and shriek!
out the obstruction and the words
might
flow
might
flow.


put the kettle on, the fire's hot.

i was imagining today

I was imagining today that I'm a grandma, telling the grandkids the story of me and Kev.

We met

became friends

he protected me

I asked him out

we had a great time

I had a conversation with God

our paths didn't cross

I dated someone

he hung out with other people

a semester passed

some prayers

(and heartbreak)

we remet

we were blessed under a chuppah

we went out for coffee

we watched LotR

a first kiss

he called my daddy

we dated exclusively

I lost some friends

he lost some friends

he asked me to the spring formal

we looked awesome

a picture was taken

a look was exchanged

he knew

I knew

the semester ended

I flew to a summer in Texas

we got to talk to one another for an hour every Saturday night

that's it

he flew down for less than 24 hours

we sent letters, otherwise

we grew

back to PBU

we grew

Christmas break

talked on the phone

decided marriage needed to/could happen

he got the ring from my daddy

asked me, under the chuppah

one awful summer apart

we grew

more heartache

tears

a semester of guidance, counseling and further friendship

we got married

the most perfect day

lived in a one-room box for five months

graduated

up and moved to Colorado

settled in there

lived 

and loved

and enjoyed God and one another

forever and ever after.

Q 9:13

Week 3:  Social Backgrounds and Historical Criticisms

Why students ought to start researching now.
"Then by the time it gets to crunch time, it won't be so... crunchy."

Referencing the account of Jesus healing the 10 lepers - only one of whom (and a Samaritan, at that) came back to express gratitude.
"There is no word [in certain languages/cultures] for 'thankfulness'.  Words are meaningless, in this sense.  The way you show what you call 'thanks' is by doing something.  Jesus uses this as an instance of grace: God cannot be paid back.  It is a clash of worldviews."

"We think words can just make things better - can make things go away."

In response to a student asking about the hermeneutics of GLBT Christians who claim the Bible as their authority:
"GLBT... is that... bacon, lettuce, tomato?"  --JOKE.

How far-right readers of Scripture are offended by wine in the Bible.
"People have turned exegetical somersaults to try to make the drink unfermented."

Accidentally skipped forward two slides:
"Pretend you saw nothing..."

"The phrase 'knock up your neighbor', which today means something completely different, was completely socially acceptable in that time!"

"Have you seen old locks?  Like in a museum or something?  They were essentially the same as locks today, just BIG!  And then they figured out how to do it real small."

"How are you envisioning loaves?  Wonderbread?"

"What would you do with leftover loaves?  It's either breakfast or... someone came at midnight."

"After Jesus healed him, He sent him off, not to go on the lecture circuit, but to present himself to the priests, follow the law and all that."

"For the rest of you, this is criticism-lite.  Like church-lite:  only 8 commandments, 10 minute sermon..."

On the far-right devotion to the KJV translation:
"It is the one, true, inspired translation.  That Paul wrote.  ...I exaggerate slightly."

On the Byzantine family of manuscripts (from which came the KJV translation)
"Don't we live in a democracy?  Can 80% of the manuscripts be lying?  Yes.  In numbering manuscripts, we don't count votes."

Drawing a diagram of the families of manuscripts on the board that looks something like a really hairy flowchart, he steps back and says:
"Boring."  And as he walks away and turns back to look at the diagrams, "Ohh!  Fireworks!"

"You've been reading in the footnotes, as you have in my book... or... the two or three of you who have and are asking questions, praise the Lord..."

"Counseling majors, please psychoanalyze me.  I get some sick, perverse pleasure from asking this question of my students before it is asked of me."

Asking why the Gospels are almost certainly literarily related - using similar sources, etc, one student points to Luke 1.  Blomberg's response:
"Imagine that.  The Bible tells us so."

Referring to the genre of quote-collecting as demonstrated by the hypothetical Q, and the apocryphal Gospel of Thomas:
"Today, we'd cut a CD and call it 'The Best of Jesus'."

"Someone from a different mindset, reading a newspaper headline: 'Sacred Heart Crushes Holy Family!' would respond, 'That's religious barbarism!' until he realizes the literary form.  Oh... it's a football game."

"...We'll discuss that at a later date.  Different Bat-time.  Same Bat-classroom."

"Jesus said... 'Wahwahwah wah wah,' as in the old cartoons..."

On Jesus' command to hate your father, mother, etc.
"I don't hear that coming from Focus on the Family..."

"I shouldn't have gone on for so long... time for three-and-three-quarters questions."

"Lots of questions?  Maybe that's what Q stands for..."

"We will do at least one useful thing per evening with these magical books." - The Synopsis of the Gospels.

"With your vertical trifocals, read down the column.  Forget about John."

Q 9:6

Last night's class dealt with:
--religious/philosophical trends of first century Judaism
--the Pseudopigrapha, OT and NT Apocrypha, Dead Sea Scrolls and their importance and use in biblical studies
--different schools of thought and belief of those in Israel during the first century.
--the manner in which Jesus challenged and reinterpreted traditional Jewish teachings, and the contextualization of the Gospel.

"Let's pray and then we'll take the quiz, and then do interesting things."

"You see the same kinds of connections in twenty-first century America.  Oh - I'm not supposed to get into parallels yet!"

[A student begins a question:] "I was noticing in one of your footnotes--"
[Blomberg, interrupting] "Yes!  Yes!"

[Referencing the student who asked the question above]
"I didn't pay him to ask that question... although he's hoping that I did..."

"I was hoping for that segue at some point during the night."

[Adjusting a slide]
"Ehhh... Come to daddy..."

"We'll deal with that when we come to Matthew 1-2, when we have Christmas in October."

[Student doesn't enunciate "Jewish sects" very clearly in his question]
"Last week's point proven."

"If you'd like to reference an encyclopedia article, or three..."

"...Which was found in Hippo.  Yes, that's the name of a town, not the animal.  Spelled the same way."

"...Which was from a site - you guessed it - called the Nag Hammadi."

"So... keep your apocrypha separate."

"We've lost our amoeba [what he called the diagram on a particular slide]... but... see if this reminds you of the New Testament Jesus or not!"

"There are all kinds of things for show and tell tonight!"

[Reading sayings from the Gospel of Thomas]
"'He who finds the meaning of these things will not see death' - That's an incentive to investigate!"

[Gospel of Thomas]
"Read it sometime... when you're bored with truth."

"Hmmmm... I expected a better reaction.  Can you all see the screen?"

"The Essenes tried to out-Pharisee the Pharisees!"

"I keep whetting your appetite for what is coming closer."

"If Wright is right..."

[Turning to a slide with a clipart depicting Jesus and a sheep]
"And his answer, as the playful lamb tugs at Jesus' robe..."

[A note on the slide referenced above]
"I'm a little sheepish about the clipart."

"For those of you brave enough to share your first century testimony..."

"And if you're really charismatic, you can start a cult!"

[After one student shares which philosophical school of thought he would adhere to, were he in the first century - Gnosticism]
"Good, good... For the purpose of our discussion, of course!"

"Make a list and see if this next new device works...[the cord of the pen for the screen is tangled in the phone cord]... Story of my life... [a minute later, after attempting to untangle the cords, they are even more tangled]... Carrying on!"

"Well, there's one thing this screen does not do... improve my writing."

"I will punctuate the slides with different points... some of them logical."

"Jerusalem is the navel of the universe, as the Jews called it... we might say the center of the Earth."

"Rome is watching.  Rome is always watching.  [Quieter] They're always watching."

[Looking at a photo of the cave where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found]
"As far as we know, Jews did not have any repelling equipment."

"Ah, they didn't have night time lighting.  They did have the moon!"

"Sorry, I didn't remember to bring the popcorn!"

"You might say this was the original Jerry Jenkins and Tim LeHaye!"

"Some years, I weed this on the first reek."

"I don't know if it's alliterated in the original language."

[As class has yet to wrap up at 9:20 PM]
"No one's going immediately to a late dinner, are they?"

ehhh

Customer:  (creepy smile) So where do I put the money for charity?
Me:  Well, we have... a tip jar.  That's kind of like charity.
Customer:  (puts money in tip jar) How has your day been?
Me:  It's been busy...
Customer:  Pretty smile.
Me:  Ehhhh... thanks.  (Awkwardly sidles away.)

the things i've seen

I love theatre.

Well, I guess it'd be more accurate to say that I love stories.  And I love music.  And I love adrenaline rushes.  Musical theatre takes these three items, mixes in some choreography, sets, bright and colorful lights.  The result is dazzling:  the audience is actually able to not only enjoy the display of talent and narrative, but it's almost impossible not to be swept into the story itself -- drama sucks a viewer in and doesn't let go.

Me, I'm a groundling.  And goodness, I'm more than pleased to be spat upon by the geniuses performing above me.

Last night, Kevin and I got to experience the timeless story of Les Miserables at Denver's Buell Theatre.  I miss this.  Yes, I miss performing, but I miss watching the stories, the talent, having my ears thrilled by the highs and the lows of a talented tenor or two.

Here's the list of shows I've seen.  Directly following is the list of shows that I'm dying to see.  Give me your feedback.  Any suggestions?  Any comments?  Have you seen any of these shows, too?  Let me know!


Fiddler on the Roof (2001) - with Topol!
--Miller Auditorium, Kalamazoo, MI

The Scarlet Pimpernel (2002)
--DeVos Hall, GR, MI

Porgy and Bess (2004)
--DeVos Hall, GR, MI

Wicked (2005)
--Princess of Wales Theatre, Toronto, Canada

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat! (2006)
--Miller Auditorium, Kalamazoo, MI

Les Miserables (2006)
--DeVos Hall, GR, MI

Spamalot (2006)

--Shubert Theatre, NYC

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (2006)

--Imperial Theatre, NYC

The Tony Awards (2006) - so many songs, so many shows, all in one place at one time!

--Radio City Music Hall, NYC

Phantom of the Opera (2006)
--Majestic Theatre, NYC

Wicked (2007) - Front row, twice in one day.  The lottery is a glorious thing!
--Oriental Theatre, Chicago, IL

Chicago (2007)
--Miller Auditorium, Kalamazoo, MI

Les Miserables (2011)
--Buell Theatre, Denver, CO


DYING TO SEE:

The Lion King -- just purchased our tickets to this one at Denver's Buell Theatre for Nov. 11!!!
Legally Blonde
Beauty and the Beast
Catch Me If You Can
Wicked, again
Spamalot, again
Book of Mormon
Big Fish (rumored to begin production)
And... anything starring Sutton Foster