running running running

I captioned the above picture, "Me Time".

By the time I had adjusted my book and my favorite candy just so, taken a picture, readjusted the book, taken a few more pictures, uploaded to Instagram, played with a filter, posted to Instagram and Facebook... both children were begging for attention.  Nap time - "Me Time" - was over.  Already.  Before I had a chance to indulge in some sugar and fiction.  I felt that irony then, and find it more amusing now.  It's not even a great picture.

That was nearly two months ago.

Now, with a two month old and an almost two year old, I feel like I'm constantly CONSTANTLY constantly running.  Running behind Daphne trying to grab the remote from her before she screws up all our settings (which has happened twice, and takes almost an hour to reconfigure).  Running over to Charles in his bouncy seat, who has had an enormous diaper blow out that has - impressively - gotten into his hair (that happened this morning, no lie).  Running to take a sock from Bilbo before he bolts under the bed to rip it to shreds (happens all the time, and frankly I've quite given up on chasing him on this one).

I truly think this season of my life is a perpetual enactment of the chicken-fox-grain puzzle.  You know the one.  I think we learned it in 7th grade math class.  You have to get all three items across the river in one small boat without the chicken being eaten by the fox, or the grain being eaten by the chicken.  Naturally, you can't take them all over at once, so you've gotta make a few well-planned trips.  That's my life.  Keeping Daph away from the baby.  Keeping Bilbo from growling at Daphne near his food.  Keeping everyone occupied and relatively content while I manage to get just one thing done off my list for the day.  It's a puzzle.  It's like a really complex and exhausting riddle.  That lasts all day, and never ever ends.

So, when I finally get a chance to sit down and have a moment (just a moment!) to myself when both of the children are napping, and Bilbo is quietly laying at my feet... why on earth would I waste those minutes taking a picture of what I'd like to be enjoying?

darling charles ender

We welcomed Charles Ender Trivits into our world just two weeks ago, but it's difficult to imagine life again without him.  He is as consistently calm and charming as Daphne was at this age.  This bodes well.  I don't want to jinx myself, but it's seeming as if we have twice struck gold.  We feel so very blessed.

His birth, as you may or may not have heard, was not without incident.  I labored for 24 hours (when Daphne's was, from start to finish, just SIX hours).  He was nine pounds (when my doctor told me he'd be about the size of Daph at birth, who was almost three pounds lighter).  All that is excusable, though.  The part that gets me about his birth was that a few things went wrong right at the end.  He was coming out at the wrong angle.  The cord was wrapped around his neck and arm.  The doctor's expression changed from excitement to concern, and she reached in and yanked him out by the shoulder.  He laid there for a moment or two without moving or breathing.  

These moments, though probably only a matter of seconds, must have felt like an eternity to Kevin (who was watching and experiencing this trauma in a way that I, strangely, was spared).  After Charles finally began to cry, the nurses quickly cut his cord and whisked him to his little warming station.  I knew something was wrong at that point, because Kevin had been asked if he'd like to cut the cord.  At that point, the doctor and nurses were calm and tending to me, so it seemed to me all was fine.  Kevin, though, had seen something that left him in shock, filled with horror.  It took a while for him to realize that our child was alive and well, and not dead, as he must have looked when the doctor laid him down after pulling his arm (and eventually, his body) free.  

Later that night, as I sat holding Charles and listening to Kevin process what he had experienced, I remembered Charles' passage of scripture.  

Side note: When Daphne was born, we did the same thing -- prayerfully consider a passage of the Bible that we believe applies to the life she would lead.  Hers is Isaiah 55, which says, briefly, "You shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands."  We believe she is a ray of joy, beaming into the world, for the purpose of spreading the love and peace of God wherever she goes.  

The scripture we had chosen for Charles is also from the prophet Isaiah, based on the meaning of his name.  Charles means "freed man", and Ender (or Andrew) means "strong man".  His passage says, in Isaiah 45:

Thus says the Lord to his anointed,

whose right hand I have grasped;

to subdue nations before him,

and to loose the belt of kings,

to open doors before him

that gates may not be closed.

I have stirred him up in righteousness,

and I will make all his ways level;

he shall build my city

and set my exiles free.

As I recalled those verses, I was struck by the phrase, "Whose right hand I have grasped."  The doctor had pulled him, yanked him free, by his right hand.  I don't mean to get all mushy and sentimental here, but I am truly convinced that God led us to this passage for a reason, and I have full confidence that God has a life of freedom and redemption in store for Charles Ender, little though he may be.  It begins now.  God's purpose and his plan are already established.  And I find incredible comfort in that.

to love at all

I think about this quote a lot.  I've actually written about it before.  My friend Jack says, "There is no safe investment.  To love at all is to be vulnerable."  Think about that for a second.  A few years back, I wrote about this quote in the context of marriage and the relationship between two broken people who have bound themselves to one another, and what a scary thought that is.  I called it marriage is risky. 

This past week, it has struck me in a new way.  CS Lewis's sayings tend to do that to me, I think.  Not only because he was a genius, but because he was gifted with the ability to take the wisdom found in scripture and rework, repackage it in a strikingly poignant way.  And, like the wisdom found in scripture, his speculations find application in so many stages of life and circumstances. 

So, as I found his To Love Is to Be Vulnerable teaching to be relevant in reflecting on marriage, I now find it to have much to say about parenthood.  It may have even much more to say about parenthood.

Here's a bit more of the quote, so we're all on the same page:

There is no safe investment.

To love at all is to be vulnerable.

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, 

you must give your heart to no one,

not even to an animal.

Okay.  So.  Surely you can see where my thoughts went with marriage.  Romantic relationships are hard enough when people are in the dating stage... Can you see how the fear could escalate when you've pledged your whole self to another person for the rest of your life?  To be loved is to be known, I conclude in my earlier post.  What a risky thing to fully put yourself out there, with all your quirks, secrets, imperfections, insecurities... and say, "Please know and accept and love me - all of me."

Imagine, then, how this could affect parenthood, the other most important relationship a person can have with another in this life.  While I personally fear less of my daughter 'accepting' me and loving me despite my faults (though I am fully aware of future fears with this, when she's more 18 than 18 months old), the riskiness of love only increases when a child comes into the picture.  

I love Daphne with all of my being.  It's actually useless for me to compare the way I love Daphne to the way I love Kevin, because it's apples and oranges.  Kevin and I have chosen each other.  Daphne has been given to us, and she is us.  The fruit, the blessing of our togetherness.  So, I love her with the love only a mother can have.  It is fierce.  It is fiery.  I will love and I will protect my baby girl, because she is equal parts me, and equal parts Kevin, and yet completely her own unique and dynamic little person.  

And even this is not a "safe investment", though all the forces of nature and God himself conspired to place her in our lives.  She is no less risky to love than a significant other.  Perhaps, she is more so.  A child, though a gift from God, demands your heart and your protection and so much responsibility.  Yet, a child's life cannot be controlled, from her circumstance to her very will.  

This terrifies me more than anything, when I wake up nights with this new baby squirming and kicking inside me.  Right now, my body is all the protection little Charles Ender needs.  I can fully control his environment, because it's me.  I know where he is, what he's doing, and can protect him in a way that I no longer can with Daphne.  Daphne is out in the world.  I cannot protect her from every bump and bruise she will inevitably receive from experiencing that world.  

I fear I am not strong enough to give her back to God, to surrender control of her life to him, to see her as first a child of God and second a child of mine.  I feel conspicuously vulnerable as a mother.  I am utterly invested in this little life.  My whole heart is on the line here.  I fear I cannot protect my heart in regards to her no more than I can protect her against the world.  Anything, it seems, could happen.  This is not a safe place to be, parenthood.  It is profoundly risky.  It is risky to consider God as capable and trustworthy and faithful, not for my own life or relationship with Kevin, I'm finding... but for my children.  Do I trust him with these little lives?  

Making myself vulnerable before him, completely offering up my all in surrender, with the knowledge that that must include my babies, is his hardest lesson yet.  

so, we wait

"Think about the things you can do - how flexible your life is right now! 

Do you really think you're financially stable?
You've only been married two years!

"This is how I imagine people will respond to me saying that my heart breaks when each month rolls around, and I am still not a mother. When I see pictures of new moms and their babies, expectant ones with their enormous tummies, I despair. I know I'm not alone in this feeling of sorrow, but good discussion is not really happening, either. But it's starting. Think of this as a companion piece to this one, written by my best friend and true confidant through times like this. I'm following her lead.

"On this topic, I don't speak up; I'm not brave. It's as if I'm ashamed of this "inability". There shouldn't be shame: it's a godly sorrow. I'm like Hannah in 1 Samuel. She went to the temple "deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly." Month after month, I feel as though I am literally pouring out my soul to God, with the assurance of faith that He will answer. Months come and go, yet I have no reply except to wait. So, we wait."

I wrote that last year... the day before we found out we were pregnant with Daphne.  And now, as I read it, aching and weepy due to the memory - and the fact that I'm eleven weeks pregnant with Baby Triv #2 - I'm overwhelmed with the fact that life is full of mystery and anticipation.

What an appropriate theme for this season.  Anticipation and Advent go hand-in-hand.  The mystery of the coming of God as a tiny infant human; the anticipation of the universe as all is to be set right. As this is the first time I've lived the Christmas season expecting a child, the beauty is remarkably real to me.

2014 has not been an easy year for us.  There have been extreme highs (primarily because Daphne radiates joy) but also significant lows and disappointments.  Events have made us despair of our desire to live in an often cold and distant state (emotionally and geographically, haha), caused us to doubt God's purpose and calling, and feel like failures in ministry and relationships.  When our things were stolen (though some were eventually returned) we lost hope in the justice system and felt the despair of not having our cause heard and upheld.  I hope I'm not overdramatizing the year we've experienced - I realize we are better off than others - it's just that the hardships we've been through are nothing like I imagined life to be.  God answered our heartbroken prayers for a child, and now we anticipate His healing of this past year.  He will continue, mysteriously, to works things out for our good and His glory.

So, we wait.

We wait for this chapter to end.

We wait for the day when we will be taken care of as a family, protected by a community if not by the law enforcement, acknowledged for our obedience to a call to ministry.  This may not be what God has in mind for us, even in this lifetime, but still we wait.  We anticipate the day that all is to be set right.   Come, Lord Jesus!

Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, 

we do not lose heart.

...

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; 

perplexed, but not in despair; 

persecuted, but not abandoned; 

struck down, but not destroyed.

...

Therefore we do not lose heart.

Though outwardly we are wasting away, 

yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us 

an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, 

since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:1, 8-9, 16-18 NIV

everything has changed: or, i have plenty to be thankful for

Happy Thanksgiving from the Trivits family!

I know it's typically at the end of the year that we reflect and "see how far we've come" and all that, but it seems all too appropriate to express thanks on the day that's set aside specially for giving thanks.  We have been so very blessed this year - in some crazy and unexpected ways.

It has been monnnnnths since I've posted, and that's because I was in the midst of transitions.  A lot of 'em.  And I've been processing through them.  Mostly to myself.  Or, mostly to Kevin.

Some of these transitions you probably know about.  Like being me being pregnant.  It was a textbook pregnancy (barring that hiccup of PUPPs at the end that seemed to signal my imminent labor).  But in the span of those nine months, Kevin and I have moved twice; had a total of three roommates, a slew of visitors; had issues with finances tax-related, tire-related, rent-related; had changes in our work situations, good and bad; had highs and extreme lows in ministry; and have strained to keep our marriage a priority throughout it all.  Bear in mind, all this with my overload of hormones and a natural bent toward deep introversion.  

I stopped singing.  I stopped reading.  I stopped journaling. I stopped trying.  I watched Friends for hours upon hours.  I cleaned like I was certifiable.  I sulked and whimpered and lamented the state of things.  I tried to buck up.  I tried to power through.  I tried to submit to God's will, which clearly all of these transitions were.  I tried to be transparent with Kevin and my close friends.  I tried to be an understanding, gracious, loving person.  But I just wasn't… feeling it.  During this time of huge transition, in this regard, nothing changed.  I had a bad attitude, secretly or not-so-secretly, for nine months.  

Then, a week before our precious miracle, Daphne Rose, was born, I realized that none of this was me.  None of this was mine.  Not my house(s), not my time, not my money, not my job, not my ministry, not my friendships, not my space, and not my will.  These are things that are given to me; I'm a sort of steward not owner of these gifts, responsible for using them for others not selfishly hoarding them till I see fit.  Nothing is mine.  

And for this, I am grateful.  It takes all the pressure off, doesn't it?  When I don't have to question how I "use my resources"?  It's answered for me.  Use them for others.  God gives me permission to bend over backward for people: it's not just something I'm allowed to do when I'm on the clock at Starbucks, where customer service is actually everything.  I'm allowed to serve others without reservation, without expectation of return, and without thought for my personal convenience, or even happiness.  

This newfound understanding was the pièce de résistance to my nesting.  This home is prepared, as much as it can be, for the arrival of our daughter.  And by home, I - of course - mean myself.  If I'm not willing to sacrifice all for this child, what am I doing with this life?  Who am I?

So, I am overwhelmingly grateful.

I'm grateful for the transitions.

I'm grateful for the hardships.

I'm grateful for a husband who stands up to me, prods me, but doesn't take my feelings for granted.

I'm grateful for a healthy, beautiful, precious baby girl (I can't get enough of her! Thanks for letting me plaster your newsfeeds with so many pictures)!

I'm grateful for learning experiences: roommates, financial decisions, and communication with friends.

I'm grateful for supportive family members and friends who in turn encourage and admonish me.

I'm grateful for times to reflect, evaluate, redirect, and move forward.

Now, as I look toward the end of the year, Kevin and I are settling down in our home sans roommate, avec baby.  After nine months of transition, we are landing somewhere.  Settling down.  And we are receiving blessing upon blessing with the understanding that it's all for the purpose of giving it away.

 And now, another picture of my adorable little pink princess.  Just for fun.  :)

baby triv

Baby Trivits!

Due Nov 18!

(Lord willing!)

As you may or may not have seen or heard, Kevin and I are expecting!  We are incredibly excited and are absolutely overjoyed/overwhelmed that God would bless and trust us with this enormous responsibility.  

I realize a blog post is neither necessary nor consequential to many/most/all of you... but I wanted to give a heads up as to what you can expect from me, an expectant mother (oh, wow).  Or maybe, rather, what you can not expect.

Please do not expect me to post:

Tummy pictures... (monthly, or ever - yuck! I'm doing you a favor.)

Ultrasound pictures... (although I know my mom already posted one... I'll let that one slide... haha)

Any gratuitous statuses about cravings, morning sickness, and babies babies babies... (one of my goals for this year was to cut down on "public" complaining/whining, and I know no one cares that all I really want to eat is apple sauce and oatmeal.)

Don't get me wrong, I realize that it is good and healthy and appropriate and exciting to gush your newfound joy over being pregnant and the thought of having a child in the near future.  But seeing friend after pregnant friend plastering their news (and, may I say, rather personal and private business) all over facebook while until very recently, Kevin and I had struggled with the fact that we - seemingly - were not able to have a baby... it's actually rather hurtful.  I know I still have plenty of friends in that stage (waiting to conceive), and those who are struggling through/with infertility.  I want to be so very, very sensitive to that.  

It's ironic that two weeks ago, I was in the process of writing a blog about our inability to conceive, addressing those of you who rather indiscreetly and carelessly (however unintentionally) "gloat" over your blessed news... and the day after, I discovered I was pregnant.  So, while that blog will not be posted, I hope that the spirit of it is clearly established.

Basically, I don't want to be an annoying pregnant girl who rubs it in the faces of all I'm friends with.  I don't want to clog up a newsfeed.  I don't want to cause anyone to despair because I'm in a different situation than they are. 

But, all that being said, PLEASE:  Congratulate us!  Pray for us!  Rejoice with us!  But... do it in person.  Or send me a text or email or handwritten card!  Let's be more personal with all this personal stuff.  

Soli Deo Gloria!

stuff my kids said [7.2-7.3]

Just take a look at this awesome schedule I had for two days of subbing!

Exclamations:

I chipped my finger!

One name is grape, and one name is pock! 

His name is Captain America!  I'm serious! 

Hair accessories:

Look - my headband can easily blend into your shirt, Miss Anna!

This clip is special because I found it at a park.  I mean... who wouldn't want a clip?? 

Fourth of July!

Happy Birthday, America!  ...Can America eat a cake?  (Response from another kid: YOU can eat a cake for America!)

On pets:

I don't have a cat... I have a brother.

Advice:

Stay away from those kinds of trees... there could be some fire drops left. 

Coloring:

One girl: Suns do not have eyes! Another girl: Well... I can do half eyes! 

No-nos:

One kid, during lunch: You have a coconut on your peepee!  Me: Oh, we don't say that... Another kid: Yeah, because coconut is a bad word!

stuff my kids said [3/29]

Playing outside:

I can do a hopsketch.

Birthdays:

My birthday is on 7.  (Oh that's cool - what month?) I don't know.  On my 7 birthday, I will be 4.

Coloring:

This is kind of pig color.

(One kid:) Oh, pretty!  How did you do that?  (Other kid:) Imaginations.  Just... imaginations.

Name-calling:

I call YOU an instrument!  So, I'll throw you in the instrument trash.

"Reading" a book:

Owls singed along with baby secrets... run says Bambi-lash... run, run!  A mouse!  Run for dearest minals!  NOW we're safe in the barn!

Original songs:

Three little bunnies swinging on a tree...

Concerning animals:

Do daddy dinosaurs have moustaches?

I'm going to be a dog when I grow up!  

stuff my kids said [3/23]

This edition is dedicated to one of my favorite five-year-olds.

Wednesday was his last day, and no one told me, so I didn't get to say goodbye!  :(

Anatomy:

Guess what I love to make you strong?  MUSCLES.  I love muscles.

Pronunciation:

My bike goes berry sast! ("Very fast!")

No I amn't!  (A contraction of "am not" -- I think she's onto something, personally.)

...Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, twenty... 3D! 

Coloring:

Holy cow you're good.   It takes practice, hon. Yeah, you start like a baby, just scribbling.  And then you get gooder and gooder and gooder and gooder and then you get good like Miss Anna!

My triangle looks like a little Santa hat. 

That yellow's a little dirty.  Well.  That's just the way God made it, I guess. 

Epiphanies:

Hey!  Excuse me!  I spelled my whole name!

You're not a teacher, you're a girl kid!

Definitions:

'Serious' means she doesn't really know me, or something.

Do you know what 'extinct' means?  It means all your skin rolls off and it's just bones.  You can't touch extinct animals - they're scratchy claws.

Reality:

Anyway, I like popcorn.  EVERYONE likes popcorn.  Besides, who doesn't like popcorn?

Who is it? A dad with really big nose hairs (said by another kid).  Is it my mom?

I have a bunch of rocks for my mom and they're shiny.   

I get tired of running and running and running... ME: You can sit down and rest for a bit!  Ok, thanks! 

I'll tell you how tall T-Rexes are with my hand.  THIS tall. 

I'm so hungry that I want to eat the trees. 

My birthday is far away, in California. 

That's smaller than a baby?  YUCK!  Babies are disgusting! 

Geography, a conversation:

I live in the mountains! I live in Africa!  Well... I mean, Greyfox Drive.  It means a grey fox.  They are so cute. 

 Putting shoes on the right feet:

If I was a big girl, and I had them on, I'd have them on wrong!

Compliments:

Are those your sunglasses, Miss Anna?  I like the design.  The frames look like they're from a volcano. 

stuff my kids said [3/16]

Some of these are ones I just stumbled upon in my notebook (not a moleskine, for those who care) from December.  Still good.  These don't expire.  :)  But unfortunately, my memory for context does... so I am just going to list these ones.

We don't do these kinds of craps.

Tim Tebow is the awesome guy.  Also, I cheer for Tim Tebow... and play with him.

Two Tebow!  Tebowhead!

Miss Anna, you need lipstick on when you have chapstick.  You need lipstick.  You do, you do.

Do you know what girls call chapstick?  Lipstick.

I need to tell you something very important about it.  He lives on a cloud.

And if you don't have a teacher, you don't know what to do!  And don't know how to play with anybody!

One time, my gramma ate a whole bunny and she got sick.  A whole Easter bunny!  

Birds can be brown or purple.

Floose!  It means to blow.  Floose your hair... floose your nose!  

Do you want to hear a soft song?  ...The cat licks the girl... And there's an angel song. But you have to dance.

Guess what happened the first time I had a sandwich!

If you lick your face, it'll make your face even more red!  Maybe it's because your tongue is red.

My mommy and daddy are done growing, but now their brain is growing. 

Coloring:

It's a poodle fish.  Part French poodle, part fish!

This is a father face! (Complete with beard and no smile)

When...:

When the sun goes down!  But that means it's going to be dark!

When I go home, I'm going to go home... put my new jacket on!  I got a new jacket!  It's comfortable!  I won't see you in the fall.  Because I'll be six and we're not best friends.

My mom always makes ice cream cake when I'm asleep.

I-statements:

I do NOT like shoes from Target.  I will NOT get shoes from Target.

I have a Mama Mia movie at my house - it's not scary at all!

I have too much cups at my house!  (Too many?) Yea- NO.  Too MUCH.

I am... wet in the pants.

Every book I get from the library YOU are going to read.

I wanna show you running over my hand with the bike.  (He did, and he started crying.)

Miss Anna-statements:

Miss Anna, you're four.  Actually, I'm four.

Miss Anna, is that how a princess sings? (I was humming under my breath whilst coloring.  Apparently so!)

Miss Anna - you can come to my birthday; I live in Colorado!

Overheard conversations:

Do you have a brother? No, only a sister. Do you play tackle football downstairs? No, we don't even have a football.

How about we have the dinosaur party RIGHT HERE.  No, I want to go to the car show. 

stuff my kids said this week [3/3]

Dental hygiene:

If you don't brush your teeth, you have to get bracelets!

Science fiction:

I have super eyeballs and a robot smsh-smsh-brain!  You know what a robot is, right?

To protect and serve?:

The police monster doesn't wake up when it's nighttime.  Just daytime.

Concerning dentists:

When the dentist cut my mommy's tummy off, it didn't really hurt.

But this marker smells like dentist.  

stuff my kids said [over the last month or so]

The "Did-You-Knows":

Did you know?  I have camera eyes!  I can see under snow and grass!

Did you know I have cookies on the side of my backpack?

Did you know I'm a famous artist?  Because I can draw Rapunzel! 

You know Darth Vader's in charge, right? 

Shapes:

What is that? (I literally could not think of another word for this shape he had drawn... so I said a quadrilateral.  I know.) Oh!  A qatsawata!  I can always make a qatsawata!

Econ101:

You know why people need money?  To buy stuff.  To buy lollipops.  Because you can't just have them. 

Reality:

Miss Anna - I can't pet my dog anymore.  (Aww, how come?) He died.

Animal sounds:

A snake makes a noise like this: Aaaooooooooo!!!

Miss Anna, I can make a really cute kitty sound!  (It was pretty much an ambulance siren noise.) 

 Anatomy:

Are eyes the shortest on your body?

We went to the doctor and my mommy pulled my a** out! (Oh!  That's a naughty word; we don't say that.) Yeah, because you could die!

Ahh! My belly button split!

I spit up in the sink, and it hurt my tummy and I had a fever... and I had a baby in my tummy. 

Apathy:

Sophie throwed up today.  On our table.  And we saw her food.  But whatever.  We saw beans and carrots.

Miss Anna, I know it makes you sad, but no thank you. 

Oh really:

Well, a spider could shoot the boat and it would collapse!  (Really? A spider?) Miss Anna, I was meanting a robot spider! 

Seriously? You think your mom is a princess?

I'm going to be a kitty in a couple of minutes.  Little kitty in the classroom.  It's called "Kitty's Playground!" 

I'm going to hit you with a book.  (Hey, that's not very nice!) I mean a fake book! 

I see Aidan D.  (But he already went home!)  He's in my brain!  Do you want me to pull him out?

Miss Anna, these shoes can do anything! 

In my mouth is a whistle! 

Hey Miss Anna, guess what I saw!  A dead dragon!  (Oh wow, where'd you see that?) At the dragon museum when I was two!

I can sing like a fairy.  Or a princess.

I can sing like a cool dude.  

I'm not going to guess until you tell me! 

We are learning important things! 

Bathroom humor:

I have a lot of poop energy!

That was like a potty dance that he did.  Or a potty sing?  ...Creepy. 

oh life life life

It's been a while since I've blogged about... anything, really.  Besides just my records of the hilarious and/or insightful things my kids say at the preschool.  So.  Here's why.

I'm not sure exactly why I do this to myself.  I guess I just figure that I have "all the time in the world" now that I'm out of college, and living "real life".  Au contraire!  If I thought I was busy then - a 20-credit undergrad student, working at 20 hour/week job, trying to have some semblance of a social life - what am I doing to myself NOW?  Let me give you the run-down of what my "semester" looks like this year:

- Working full-time at Starbucks.
- Working part-time at Evergreen Academy.
- Being a housewife (seriously - I'm making a career out of doing laundry, dishes, cooking, etc) and loving on my husband, keeping that relationship real.
- Being an obedient servant of God (all that that entails, some listed below, some just having to do with my personal spiritual life... this is a relationship that demands up-keep, as well!)
- Being a friend and mentor (I have more of a social life now than I ever did in college - what?!)
- Singing and playing piano for Saturday evening services at our church.
- Supporting Kevin and the youth group by attending Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings (mostly regularly).
- Taking an online course at Red Rocks (it's a 101, but still is work).
- Working on learning 15 new songs to be the piano accompanist for the spring musical at the local high school (boy, am I rusty - but excited for the challenge and the chance to get involved with the youth!)
- Trying to finish this 700 pg book... just to be DONE with it already!
- And now because Kev and I have decided that what I need is more peer-fellowship - I'm joining a Bible study with a friend and some other ladies down the mountain.

This is my life, guys.  I love it.  I love what I do, my friends, my life.  Truly.  But I feel like I'm killing myself sometimes.  Like, I never have time to breathe.  I have days off, obviously, but those days are taken up with all the other busyness I have to "get done".  It's so easy for me to get overwhelmed and stressed and take it out on people closest to me (i.e: Kevin).  Not good!

So, here are some things I need to be constantly reminding myself.

These are the things I know:
- This is a 101 course.  I can and will get a decent grade, basically despite my best efforts to the contrary.
- I am good at playing piano, and after I acquaint myself with the songs a bit more, I'll be fine.
- I cannot take out my stress on Kevin.
- Adarae is coming to visit me in five days and will make everything better! (Plus, days off work!)
- God is faithful, and I am able to please Him by my obedience in the little things as well as the big things.
- I cannot always please everyone - so I can't beat myself up for failing in the little things, asking forgiveness, etc.  I cannot let my fear of letting others down affect my day-to-day.
- I can love people in little ways that make a big difference.
- I can organize and prioritize: Do what matters most first.

stuff my kids said this week [1/27]

An original song:

I'm so awesome - everybody likes me!

Thoughts on the book I read them about astronauts:

Ughhhhh, I hate space!

A moon with lipstick?  Whaatttt?

Thoughts on having your own bed:

Sleeping with nobody is actually pretty fun!

Coloring:

I wish I could marry purple.

This is a sunburnt color.

This crayon is... naked.  (The wrapper had fallen off)  

Coloring all day wears me out! 

Chewing gum:

Miss Anna, you have the same gum as yesterday!  You never like to eat gum in the summer?

Affection:

Can I sit in your lap?  But I LOVE you!

(I asked a boy for a purple dinosaur he was playing with:) No! You're not my girlfriend!

I like you longtime. 

A natural conclusion:

You little BABY! (Hon, she's older than you.) Well... then I'm going to put marker on her face.

Travel stories:

When I went to Hong Kong, I got the last balloon.

I asked a little girl if she would want the same shoes as Hello Kitty:

But they're Hello Kitty's!  (What if she gave them to you?) She's not in the world, you goober!

Snack time:

They're yummy and crummy.  Rhymes.  I just did a rhyme!

Matters of height:

You know what?  My daddy drinks alcohol, and that's why he's tall!

A little boy walks out of the restroom before pulling up his pants, and one little girl remarks:

I never like seeing that.  Ever.

Two girls have moms that are both tall and dark-haired, one boy remarked:

Sophie and Brianna kinda have the same mom.

A little girl sniffs a My Little Pony:

It smells like my dinner.

Reality:

Star Wars is real life.  Because I saw it on TV.  They're REAL PEOPLE.  With real sticks! (Lightsabers)

Expressions:

You're running like a chicken with your eye off!

Truth:

Cake will make it better! 

stuff my kids said last week

A student greets me as I enter:

Do you have long arms?

One boy gets excited for his weekend at the condo:

They even have a hot tub! And I'm going in it!  There are strong jets, and lights, and three fountains.  And I like the blood! (???)  Red lights!  It even goes on big jets - STRONG jets!

Thoughts on superheroes:

Batman is a nice guy.

I turned into a thunder eagle.

I'm trying to be Secret Agent Coyote.

Snack time:

Miss Anna, I didn't want my snack today, so I choose to eat YOU!

Do you want to see my fake choking?

Santa remains a Big Brother figure in the kids' minds:

If you be bad one more time... Santa told me you're bad.

Size matters:

Because we're bigger than you guys... by a little bit.  But YOU'RE (pointing at me) way bigger than all of us!

Do you wanna try to touch the ceiling? (A father walked in... who was nearly seven feet tall.)

The orange safety goggles were a hit:

Hey!  Orange me!  Now let me orange you!

Interesting pronunciation:

Come on!  We have to trap the Paris-a-mantis! (Praying mantis)

With confidence:

I have the beautista...ful... one.

Art lessons:

You're not supposed to draw purple eyes.  Because they're supposed to be brown.

Endearing:

Miss Anna, I missed you when I was at my condo.

You make my tummy funny.  My tummy told me to hug you. 

One girl forgot to wear a belt with her over-large pants, and when they fell down:

What!  Are you SERIOUS, man??

Playing outside:

Ahh!  Did you send that sun into my eyes??

I wanna KILL that rainbow.

Ethics:

Make a choice to be good.  Make a good choice.  And don't do anything not good.

Obedience:

My baby dinosaur doesn't know how to listen. 

[1/6] stuff my kids said today

 One of my girls explains how a maze works:

If you get trapped by a ghost, you're lost.

One of my kids had finished a connect-the-dots picture of a birthday cake.  I "pretended" to want to eat it.  My kid responds:

Don't you get it, Miss Anna?  It's just a dot-to-dot!  Do NOT eat it!  It's just coloring!

One boy comments on another's choice in hats:

Mason!  You're half-pirate, Mason!

One girl explains why I sometimes have trouble with them misbehaving:

 Well... we don't listen to you when you're here, but we do listen when Miss Stacey's (the main teacher) here... because we don't want to get in trouble.  (You'll still get in trouble if you don't listen to me, though.) Oooohhhhhhhhh....

Every day when we transition from outside to inside, we pretend to be secret agents (a better way of saying, let's all be insanely quiet as we walk to our classroom).  One boy decides:

I'm secret Batman!

As one girl plays with the kitchen set, I overhear the following:

Shake stuff is medicine, sometimes.

Uhmmm... who put the bacon on me?  (response from another little girl: "The teacher.") 

I think he should go to elementary school, never be here again.  So he won't disturb you anymore.

One little boy is obsessed with all things fireman-related.  He wears a fireman helmet everyday (or did for the majority of the fall "semester"), and plays with the Rescue Heroes constantly.  I overhear him talking on the walkie-talkie:

Come in!  This is Fireman Siff!  Come in!  ...New coffee, thanks!

I was having trouble figuring out what a girl's drawing was... she explained it rather nicely:

This is a lovely piano... and lovely shoes... and hearts... and a lovely pink tongue!

One boy and I have a scar on the same place over our left eyebrows.  I pointed this out to him, and the other kids overheard.  So, for the next ten minutes, they chanted:

You lost an eyebrow!  You lost an eyebrow!

As we lined up to go inside, one boy asserted:

I hate... I hate the MOON!  (Why, hon?) I hate the moon because the moon kind of chases my home.  And I don't like that!

Another says (no explanation necessary):

I want a pet eagle!

One boy drew a picture of a really fat man.  There were features of the man I could identify, but beneath the belly button, I saw something that seemed a bit strange.  It looked like three parallel lines to the side of the stomach.  I spent the next half-hour trying to get the boy to tell me what it was.  These are some of my favorite lines from that conversation:

I don't wanna tell... it's kind of secret.  (Lots of giggles.)

Only boys have 'em - right here (He points to his chest, and one little girl who is eavesdropping says: BOOBIES! I reply, No... boys don't have boobies.  He responds, with a huge smile on his face:) My daddy does!

 I don't wanna tell you... because you might tell the other kids and... it might freak you out.

Ok, I'll give you a hint... (Writes the letters O-T-S on his paper) What's that spell?  (I said, Ots.  At this point, he busts up laughing - slapping his knees - and says:) I tricked you!  That's not a clue!

Here's a REAL clue:  it kinda rhymes with 'three'.  (The eavesdropping girl shouts in response: TURTLES!)

Once I finally got him to whisper it in my ear, because I was thoroughly intrigued and confused, he said:

It's... a three-pack!  You know?  Part of your muscles!  I'll probably have them when I'm six.

[1/3] stuff my kids said today

There were a lot of good one-liners today.  Enjoy!

These next few have no (and need no) context:

We have to be beautiful - it's so rainy!

And Pocahontas can climb trees really fast... and... and she can paint with the wind.  That's impossible.  To paint with the wind.

Everyone can fly - even dinosaurs!  But not people.

Hippo starts with H.  (What else starts with H? I was trying to get the little girl to recognize her own name starts with that letter) Hug? (Yes, what else?) Nug? ...Snowflake?

No, they're not bunnies - they're a STAR.  And you said 'pissles.'

I love wind.  It makes me so fast. 

Yeah... I don't understand words.

You can be invited to my birthday, if you like.  Then... I don't have bad luck!  (When?) when I grow up to be four! 

I read them a book, and a character was named Mrs Plum.  I asked if anyone knew what a plum was:

Oh!  It's... a... purple circle. 

Twenty

HAPPY DECEMBER 20!

All I want for Christmas are... two baby dragons?

I love and am so very thankful for my kids.  Can I count the reasons?

1) They're hilarious.  Case in point.

2) They give me hugs whenever I want (or don't want) 'em!

3) They don't pronounce everything correctly.

4) They treat stickers like serious currency.

5) They color me pictures.

6) They remind me of my imagination.

7) All the girls wear pink, and all the boys wear blue.

8) One of my little ones wears a fireman helmet everyday.

9) They're adorable.  Did you SEE that picture above?

10) They are more honest than anyone else I hang out with.

[12/6] stuff my kids said today

Said by my fave:

Mason kicked my hand and he made it redder so I can have a hot lava hand!

I think I can drink a whole water fountain full of water!

Did Jingles the elf visit YOUR house last night, Miss Anna?  (I said no...) Hmmmm.  Maybe he's too busy trying to learn how to fly. 

One of the kids had a football, just carrying it around, so a fellow teacher decided to encourage them to "Throw it like Tebow!"  He looked at her, looked at the ball, and said:

No, a t-ball is different. 

Then a little girl gave her input: 

That's what my daddy says: GO TIM TEBOW!!!

A girl came up to me and asked if I wanted to hear a "really funny song that her big brother sings":

ABCDEFG... (uhmm) ABC... ABCEDFG... Barney knows my name.  Stick a rocket up his nose, watch him fly away.

[11/30] stuff my kids said today

One of my little ones, a favorite, got a bloody nose today just as I was walking in.  He comes up to me and says:

"Miss Anna, look!"  

 "Oh no!"

"Yeah, I don't know where it came from... maybe a lion."

Their "You Know What" off-hand comments are absolutely endearing.  And usually, I don't know what.

"You know what?  Spiders can walk... (long pause) and grasshoppers can hop hop hop like bunnies!" 

 At least she's honest...

"I have so many toys... All of my friends... and my mommy-friends... and my daddy-friends.... all my friends KEEP BUYING ME PRESENTS!" 

-----> For other funny quotes, go to my page: stuff my kids say!  Hilarity!