today i woke up and decided not to be afraid

Today, I woke up
 and decided not to be afraid.

I looked myself in the mirror and said,
"Dear, what shall you accomplish today?"

My reflection spoke back, smiling,
"What would you attempt if you knew you would not fail?"

I fled the flat,
skipped down the stairs, hands not holding the rail,
and beamed into the sunshine.

The world did not bow to me,
but I was filled
with purpose,
with joy,
and with an unquenchable desire to be.

not big enough

Sometimes
God isn't BIG enough
in my perception

I reduce Him to ink on a page
words of Christ in red

I love Him like I love
Percy
Darcy
Carton
an adorable, romantic, brooding Figure

Is He more than that to me?

Have I trained my brain to be wooed
by a mere Man
of stories
of the past
of fiction?

I read of His terrible wrath
His patient loving-kindness
His sacrifice
for the ones He loves
as a story

A beautiful, touching, inspiring story

Is my God a living One
that is the same today as He was walking with Enoch
snatching up Elijah
protecting David
weeping at Lazarus' death
overturning tables in the temple
accepting the humble worship of sinners?

Have I the faith to praise a present God?
To live as if He's alive?

Or is my heart just warmed by the story?

Just ink on a page
words of Christ in red

I fear
God isn't BIG enough
in my perception

tree of life

Tree of Life, Klimt 

c. 1909

[Proverbs 3:13-23]

Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding,

for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold.

She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.

Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.

Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.

She is a tree of life to those who embrace her;

those who hold her fast are called blessed.

The LORD by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding He established the heavens;

by His knowledge the deeps broke open, and the clouds drop down the dew.

My son, do not lose sight of these -- keep sound wisdom and discretion,

and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck.

Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble.

[Colossians 1:9-10, 15-17, 19-20]

We have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.

Jesus is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.  For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things were created through Him and for Him.

And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

For in Him the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross.

[James 3:13-18]

Who is wise and understanding among you?  By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom.

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth.

This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.

For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

[Revelation 22:2-4, 14, 16]

On either side of the river was the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each moth.  The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.

No longer will there be anything accursed, but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and His servants will worship Him.

They will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads.

...

Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life and that they may enter the city by the gates.

...

'I, Jesus, have sent my angel to testify to you about these things for the churches.  I am the root and the descendent of David, the bright and morning star.'

[It's about Jesus]

He is Wisdom.  He is Life.  He is the Hope for us today. 

He is the Tree of Life. 

He is the Door to righteousness, to eternal life, and relationship with God.

Through Him, we can bear the good fruit of righteousness.

Through Him, we can be healed.  We can have peace.

Embrace Him.

my last duchess

My Last Duchess
Browning


FERRARA
That’s my last Duchess painted on the wall, 
Looking as if she were alive. I call 
That piece a wonder, now: Fra Pandolf’s hands 
Worked busily a day, and there she stands. 
Will’t please you sit and look at her? I said 
“Fra Pandolf” by design, for never read 
Strangers like you that pictured countenance, 
The depth and passion of its earnest glance, 
But to myself they turned (since none puts by 
The curtain I have drawn for you, but I) 
And seemed as they would ask me, if they durst, 
How such a glance came there; so, not the first 
Are you to turn and ask thus. Sir, ’twas not 
Her husband’s presence only, called that spot 
Of joy into the Duchess’ cheek: perhaps 
Fra Pandolf chanced to say “Her mantle laps 
Over my lady’s wrist too much,” or “Paint 
Must never hope to reproduce the faint 
Half-flush that dies along her throat”: such stuff 
Was courtesy, she thought, and cause enough 
For calling up that spot of joy. She had 
A heart—how shall I say?—too soon made glad, 
Too easily impressed; she liked whate’er 
She looked on, and her looks went everywhere. 
Sir, ’twas all one! My favour at her breast, 
The dropping of the daylight in the West, 
The bough of cherries some officious fool 
Broke in the orchard for her, the white mule 
She rode with round the terrace—all and each 
Would draw from her alike the approving speech, 
Or blush, at least. She thanked men,—good! but thanked 
Somehow—I know not how—as if she ranked 
My gift of a nine-hundred-years-old name 
With anybody’s gift. Who’d stoop to blame 
This sort of trifling? Even had you skill 
In speech—(which I have not)—to make your will 
Quite clear to such an one, and say, “Just this 
Or that in you disgusts me; here you miss, 
Or there exceed the mark”—and if she let 
Herself be lessoned so, nor plainly set 
Her wits to yours, forsooth, and made excuse, 
—E’en then would be some stooping; and I choose 
Never to stoop. Oh sir, she smiled, no doubt, 
Whene’er I passed her; but who passed without 
Much the same smile? This grew; I gave commands; 
Then all smiles stopped together. There she stands 
As if alive. Will’t please you rise? We’ll meet 
The company below, then. I repeat, 
The Count your master’s known munificence 
Is ample warrant that no just pretence 
Of mine for dowry will be disallowed; 
Though his fair daughter’s self, as I avowed 
At starting, is my object. Nay, we’ll go 
Together down, sir. Notice Neptune, though, 
Taming a sea-horse, thought a rarity, 
Which Claus of Innsbruck cast in bronze for me!

i want to write

i want to write poetry
but
all i can say has already been said
or is unremarkable
or contrived
song lyric variations
eloquent and sad
trite and forced.
have i no original thoughts?
have i words of my own?
[cliche cliche]

and yet
something wells up within
my soul
boils and spits:
hisses like a teapot upon a red-hot front burner.
but
there's something stuck in the spout
obstruction
becomes more firmly lodged
the hotter the flame
the steam
its pressure.
let the steam out - let it hiss and shriek!
out the obstruction and the words
might
flow
might
flow.


put the kettle on, the fire's hot.